Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Sunny Tuesday ( No Rain Yet )

Another good morning friends. Did you ever have this happen to you? I went to the doctor's to have him put his signature on a piece of paper and the secretary said he's out for now but will come back in the afternoon. Come back and you can pick it up then. I came later to get it and the secretary said 
" Oops, I forgot to give it to him to sign. Sorry. " Then the other secretary said, " It's OK, I'll just put the doctor's stamp on it. There you have it. All is done. " I was little shocked. If that was all they had to do , why couldn't the other secretary in the morning do the same,  put down the stamp and therefore I wouldn't have had to come back in the afternoon. Weird, wasn't it. It seems no one really knows what's going on in the shop. Oh well, I did get the doctor's signature even though he didn't even know that he did it. Ha,ha,ha. 




"3 Gals" joke

Three women -- one german, one japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The german pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questioningly.

a "that was my pager," she said. "i have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

a few minutes later, a phone rang.

The japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "that was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

the hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The hillbilly woman finally said, "well, will you look at that, i''m gettin'' a fax!

Golf panties
The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her distinct lack of underwear.
“Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?” Ole demanded.
“Well,” she said. “You don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.”
The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear!”
Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.
“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers! Why not?”
She replies, “I can't afford any on the money you give me.”
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!”
Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over to the tee. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked underneath.
“Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin’ hell are yer drawers?”
She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.”
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, “Well, fer the love 'o decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”

Japanese Hotel Service
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo. Realising he needed a haircut before the next day’s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
“I’m afraid not, sir,” the clerk told him apologetically. “But down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.”
Sceptical, but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 15.00 yen, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and admired his reflection – it was the best haircut he’d had in his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, “Manicures, 20.00 yen”.
The salesman thought, “Why not?” He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, “This machine provides a service men need when away from their wives, 1.00 yen”.
The salesman looked both ways, put one yen in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some trepidation, placed his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit, which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.


Past Cruise Photos

         While on the Carnival Legend, our first cruise, I took this sunset going into the ocean

                                            The Carnival Legend leaving the pier at St. Lucia.

Finished for the day. I hope that you've enjoyed today's post and hope to see you again. 

                                                                   SEE YA.


  1. Paul, your personal photos are brilliant! I loved the cat jokes today and the last one with the two elderly women warms my heart. Hugs to you, my friend. It is pouring rain right now here in Montreal. :)

  2. Hi Linda. I see you're getting more and more visitors. That's awesome Paul.

    Shame on that doctors office. Those gals can add the doctors name on anything as long as he says it's okay. Shame on them for making you come back.

    Loved all the jokes. These were extra good today.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

  3. Sounded like a right mix up lol
    Loved the jokes & the cat and nails LOL

    Fab photos too looked like a storm might have been brewing :-)

    Have a tanfabulous day Paul :-)

  4. Cute cat and her nails. Lovely ocean sunset and pier at St Lucia and the best is the photo of 2 elderly ladies.


Thanks for commenting!