Thursday, July 16, 2015

Lunch Time Thursday

Well, it's another beautiful Thursday. The sun's out, not to hot, in fact it's a little cool and the birds are quiet and all that I can hear are the men that changing a neighbor's roof down the street. Today is Thursday's Lunch time with Dan my cousin. Last night my friend Al & his wife were over for a visit. They were very gracious for bringing us an anniversary gift. They didn't need to do that. The card that Al picked was hilarious. Here is what it said.

" Good Couples go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly!.
     " Okay, so maybe the Peanut Butter sticks the the roof of your mouth, and the Jelly gets all
           over the place, and the whole thing is just one sticky, chaotic mess, but, hey -- 
               that's the beauty of marriage!
                    Happy Anniversary ------ Al & Meilin

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The Alabama preacher


The Alabama preacher said to his Congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a
Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this
Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and
confess your transgression. "

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has
been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared.

 Flowers


Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass? a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."?

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says," You don't like getting flowers?"

The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have?a vase?"?

 The Ghost!

A professor at the University of West Virginia was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Billy Ray raises! his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture; no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Billy Ray, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Billy Ray replied, "Ghossst????....Shiiiiit!...From way back there I thought? you said,"Goats!"


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Past Cruise Photos








                                              Resting at the back of the Carnival Dream.

                                        The Carnival Dream at the pier in Cozumel.
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Finished for the day I guess. It seems that the guys on the roof must be finished for the day or are on a break because it's so quiet right now. Have a wonderful day my friends.

                                                                     SEE YA.





4 comments:

  1. Now is the time to fix those roofs before winter sets in. Well, and in between all that rain you've been having too.

    Loved all the jokes. Especially the "don't you have a vase" one.

    We are off to the boat today and have a cruise this weekend with some friends. I'll not be around as much.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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  2. Haha...those are good one...vase, ghosts...😀

    Big hugs, honey...

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  3. What a beautiful pool on that ship.

    I couldn't figure out how a joke about the KKK could end up funny and still be in good taste, but it sure did.

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  4. "I just farted" had me almost fall off my chair! LOL! I love your photos, Paul! :)

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Thanks for commenting!