Friday, September 25, 2015

It's Friday Again

Hi there everyone. I've been watching the TV about the Pope. I'm Catholic but from what I'm seeing, non - Catholics are loving this wonderful man. This man, well there is something in him that makes me feel so good. I may always agree with the rules of the church but Pope Franciso  makes you understand even though you may not agree with some of the things he's saying. Watching him speaking to the politicians in the Congress makes me feel that together things can be helped but knowing that after these men & women listen for awhile, and after he left, really nothing will be the done. They will say the same things and do the same things and nothing will be done. Oh well, that's our life.
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Huh?

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Three Sisters

Three elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One evening, the 96 year old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the other two sisters and asked, "Was I getting in the tub or out?"
"You dern fool," said the 94 year old. "I'll come up and see." When she got half way up the stairs she paused. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, "I hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She shook her head and called out, "I'll be up to help you both as soon as I see who's at the door."



Card Buddies

Two elderly ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."
Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


Driving Skills

A woman in her 50s was driving with a friend. She went through a red light. The friend didn't say anything. But then she went through another one. The friend said, "Do you realize you just went through two red lights?"
"Oh," she said, "was I driving?"


Beats a Nursing Home!
The ultimate in truly luxurious retirement homes
There will be no nursing home in my future...
Nope... I'm going to live on a Cruise Ship year round! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations, and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which I estimate at only $10 per day.
2. I will have as many meals a day as I want, as long as I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service. The best part is that they're good meals. None of that cardboard stuff I've seen my old friends eating. Breakfast in bed every day of the week, hmmmm.
3. Cruise ships have as many as three or four swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, a casino, movies and shows every night.
Room service every day
The ultimate in truly luxurious retirement homes
4. They often have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips should have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.
If you fall and break a hip on the cruise ship they will likely upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And, the best for last!
10. I get to see Alaska, South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, etc., etc. Don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

                                                       Would you like to sit down?

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PAST CRUISE PHOTO
 







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                         I baked these goodies last year and they didn't stay very long.
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              That's it for today my good friends. Enjoy life each day that God gives you.



5 comments:

  1. Hello Paul, I enjoyed your jokes. The babies are so cute! And the sky picture is awesome!

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  2. I've not followed the popes visit. I don't pay much attention to anything that goes on in Washington D.C. bunch of crooks. I would hope they would listen, but they won't. It's all about their agenda. Period.

    Loved all the jokes.

    I linked you to Feline Friday because of that coffee kitty.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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  3. I lost my appetite LMAO loved all the jokes and I think she needs to change her bra by now LOL

    Those slices looked nice ...have a tanfabulous weekend Paul :-)

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  4. LOL Paul! The babies and the bus had me laughing the hardest this time! :)

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  5. There's a lot of FUN stuff here. - I enjoyed your cat photo and the rest of the post. Good for some laughs.
    http://wishesdreamsandotherthings.blogspot.com/2015/09/friday-fun-september-25-2015.html

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!