Saturday, March 12, 2016

Beautiful, Sunny Saturday


Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Morning Friends. Yes, it's a beautiful Saturday morning and from what I see, the entire day will be great. I think winter has left us ( I hope! ) for this year. Yesterday my wife & I saw many robins and when you see the robins, that means wintertime has left and Spring is just around the corner. Tonight we have to change our clocks an hour ahead. I don't know why but every year that hour ahead makes me sick for awhile. Oh well, soon I'll be able to take my Bumble Bee. Zoom, zoom.

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Now the alphabet rewritten for granny:
A for arthritis;
B the bad back
C the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I’d rather not mention
H high blood pressure – I’d rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in no way down low.
O is for osteo, bonus that don’t grow!



P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow,
V is for vertigo, that’s dizzy, you know…
W is for worry, now what’s going around?
X is for x-ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have – in my mind!
I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body is deployed, and I’m keeping 26 doctors fully employed!
Have a great day


Granny was in her eighties and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring and she welcomed him into her parlor. He took a seat while she prepared some tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.
Imagine his shock and surprise! And curiosity! Surely, Miss Granny had flipped!! But he felt he couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor.
When she returned with the tea and cookies they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and the floating item, but soon it got the better of him and he could resist no longer.

"Miss Granny," he said while pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you could tell me about this?"
"Oh, yes", she replied, "Isn't it wonderful! I was walking down town last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know. . . I haven't had a cold all winter."


A grandma (not mine, but a friend's) told me this joke this past weekend:

q: how do you find an old man in the dark?
a: it's not hard.



Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore
and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus " bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day
because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,
followed by a thunderous prayer meeting;
so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did!
What an uplifting experience that followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection
just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...
Light for Grandma

and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus
because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
Why, while I was sitting there,

Yells to Grandma
the guy behind me started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
"For the love of GOD! GO! GO! JESUS CHRIST, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out of my window
and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
Love Jesus
There must have been a man from Florida back there
because I heard him yelling something about a
"sunny beach"...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way
with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat
what that meant, he said that it was probably
a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii;
so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing...
why even he was enjoying this religious experience!
Grandma's Grandson
A couple of the people were so caught up
 in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars
and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,
but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning,
and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad
that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared;
so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window
and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign
one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Grandma


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I just love Grandparent jokes. I think back of my grandparents. They came from Italy, settled in Canada and couldn't speak a lick of English. I loved their English in between Italian. I loved going to their place, helping my grandfather making wine, going with my other grandfather taking tomatoes to town and just the love they had for us and now today I'm a grandfather. WOW! I guess I getting old.
Well, have a great Saturday and get ready for Sunday. 


" SEE YA "


 
 

7 comments:

  1. My dad's parents were both from Italy, too. They died before I was born but I have good memories of our large extended, Italy family. They always knew how to have a good time even just doing simple things. Thanks for reminding me of that this morning.

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    1. I miss my grandparents a great deal. Though not rich, they gave more then wealth, love.
      Ciao Jean.

      Cruisin Paolo

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  2. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know. . . I haven't had a cold all winter." Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Loved the honk if you love Jesus too.

    Have a fabulous day Paul. ☺

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    Replies
    1. I knew that you would love that one Sandee. You know, I was only sick once, and that was when I was on my cruise. Must have forgotten the you know what. ha,ha,ha.

      Cruisin Paul

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  3. Well at last we seen some sun haha we don't put our cocks forward till the 27th :-(

    Those jokes made me laugh haha love that gif too I loved your grandparents story, mine were typical cockney Londoners I miss them.

    Have a caffeinelesstasic day Paul LOL :-)

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  4. Hooray for spring! Ours is sopping wet right now.

    Love the aging alphabet!

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  5. What a great bunch of funnies!

    Big hugs, honey...

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Thanks for commenting!