Tuesday, October 31, 2017

It's A Very Cold Halloween Tuesday

Good scary morning my friends. It's Halloween and it's around 39 degrees out side. I can't believe how cold it is outside this morning. Those poor little scary children that will outside wanting to get some candies are going to be freezing outside.




A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, " What have you come as? "
He said, " A werewolf. "
I said, " But you're not wearing a costume. You'vejust got your normal clothes on. "
He said, " Yeah, well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?


A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can't stop staring at her. So she asks him why is he staring and he answers, "I have a question I need to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
The nun replies, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, "Well it's like this; I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."
The nun replies, "Ok well, let's see what we can do about that, shall we. There are two conditions though - firstly you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, yes! I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun then says, "Ok then, pull into the next alley."
The cab driver does so and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry.
The nun sees this and asks him, "My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?"
The cab driver says, "You must forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you - I must confess that I'm married and I'm also Jewish."
The nun laughs and says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."


Me and my girlfriend were going to a Halloween party last year and my girlfriend came down the stairs wearing nothing but boots.
I asked her "What are you suppose to be?"
She said, "Puss in boots."
So I went into the kitchen and  put a potato on my penis. When I came back out, she asked me, "What are you suppose to be?"
I said, "If you can be puss in boots, then I can be a dictator..."




Once, there were 2 guys sitting in a living room. One man says to the other,
"I would rather live with a vampire than my wife!"
and the other man says "Why?" He says,
"Because she’s always trying to bite my head off!"


The angry female ghost seems to state, "I’ve had it! In the middle of the night he turns on the television,
moves things from one place to another, and makes weird noises."
Funny, nay? By the way, how did I realize who’s a female ghost? Well,
simply look out for the most adorable eyelashes ever.




Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?"
The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I'll have a glass of plasma."
The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light".





                                 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Well that will it for now. Have a scary night.

 
                                                                     " SEE YA "


                          " Cruisin Paul "

10 comments:

  1. My name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

    Good to see a post from you. Make sure we know all about your 11 day cruise too. Sounds exciting.

    Have a fabulous day, my friend. ☺

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  2. Good morning Sandee. I'll let you know about my next cruise. This one will be different then my other cruises then Carnival.

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  3. Heeheehee! It’s always fun to see your posts. Happy Halloween!

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    1. I'm so happy that I can make your day Mimi. You make mine also.

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  4. It was cold here, too, for our trick or treaters. I only had 85 this year.

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    Replies
    1. 85????? We had only 45 and it was cold last night. I guess more chocolate for Paul.

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  5. It's turned cold here too although the cold weather seems to be arriving later this year.

    Loved the jokes lol and that scary photo of you after your intro I hope you didn't go out like that it's quite scary LMAO :-)

    Have a lovely day Pauleo and stay warm ;-)

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  6. Hi Paul, thanks for the funny, scary jokes. I like the Tunnel of Love joke!

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  7. That cab driver got a real trick but I'm not sure he thought of it as a treat.

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Thanks for commenting!