Well, Monday has arrived. Last week I spent all the time to decorate the inside of my home for Christmas. The rest of our home is left for my wife ( the staircase ). Her and I will put out the large ribbons out later.
Later today we will be picking up Al & Meilin from the airport. They have been in China for a month. The first thing that Meilin will ask is how is my kitty?
calls his son in
the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have
to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the
sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each
other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced.
Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and
we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR
ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a
better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and
there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating
attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his
friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I
bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"
He laid her on the table.
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat.
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck & then her breast.
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet & all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide......
He looked inside.
All was dark & murky.
He rubbed his hand & stretched his arm......
And then he STUFFED the TURKEY.
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve.
They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter
heaven. On entering they are told that they must present something
"Christmassy." in order to get in.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from
the family's Christmas tree. He is let it. The second man presents a
bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier in that
night. So he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last
gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
To which he replies, "Oh, They're Carol's."
Well that;s about it for now. I do hope that all of my American friends enjoy their Thanksgiving. Save me a piece of pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin pie.
" SEE YA "
" Cruisin Paul "