Monday, November 13, 2017

Monday, Monday, Monday

Good Monday morning everyone. After showing you the blog about my next cruise, I've been getting so excited and Christmas isn't even here yet. Oh well. My friends Al & Meilin will be coming home in about two weeks from their vacation in China visiting Meilin's relatives and being at a wedding of her cousin. 

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A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat". "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table". "Hey, why are all these cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course! They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. this went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"


A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas. He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship telling him, ... Beggars can't be cruisers.

 Passengers aboard a luxurious cruise ship were having a great time when a beautiful young woman fell overboard. Immediately there was an eighty year old man in after her who kept her afloat till the rescue boat arrived. The Captain was grateful as well as astonished that the white haired old man performed such an act of bravery. Hat night a banquet was given in honour of the ships octogenarian hero. He was called forward to receive an honoury award and to say a few words. He stood in front of the crowd and said ‘First of all I’d like to know who pushed me’

 A homeless man had been sleeping in the dockyards when a sleek new cruise ship pulled into port. Thinking he would be on to a good thing the homeless man tried to sneak on board but was turned back on the gangplank by the concierge who told him
‘Sorry sir beggars can’t be cruisers.




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Well, I'm done for the day. I have a  massage at 10:30 am and I'm ready for that one. Have a great day my friends.


                                 " SEE YA " 

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                            " Cruisin Paul "

12 comments:

  1. Who knew there were so many cruise jokes out there. Time is getting short for you to be on board on your way to having a lot of fun. I can feel your joy all the way down here in Michigan.

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    1. You are totally correct Jean. I went and had a massage this morning. I'm feeling great. See ya.

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  2. I know you love your cruises. Some like them, some love them and some don't like them at all. It's funny that we have a boat, but hate the big cruise ships. Doesn't make much sense does it.

    Loved all the jokes as always.

    Have a fabulous day, my friend. ☺

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    1. Sandee, you are cruising with your out cruise ship. I's think it's wonderful my friend.

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  3. Yes, i was born to cruise, too, but i have to work instead. Maybe someday, and meanwhile i will vicariously enjoy yours!

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    1. When I'm on my cruise Mimi, I'll think about when I'm sitting near the pool having a Caribbean drink. How's that my friend? See ya.

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  4. I can tell you can't wait till your next cruise LOL

    Laughed at the jokes all on topic too :-)

    Have a tanfastic Monday Monday Monday Pauleo :-)

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    1. Hey Steveo, how can you figure out that I'm interested in my cruise? Ha,ha,ha.

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    2. It's just a incline I had lol :-)

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  5. The cruise jokes are getting pretty deep. I like the parrot one the best. It's got me thinking - maybe I should look for my next cruise.

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  6. Pretty deep, ha,ha,ha. Yes I agree Rhnda. It's time that you arrange your next cruise. Check on the Celebrity Reflection. There might be some cabins there. Check on January 29the 2018. See ya.

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  7. Hi Paul, I like your cruise jokes especially the magician and the parrot. Lol! Have a great massage!

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Thanks for commenting!