Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Snowy, Snowy, Snowy Tuesday

Good snowy Tuesday my friends. It snowed all day Monday and as I get up this morning it's still snowing but not as much. Every morning it seems that I have a stuffy nose but as the progresses on the stuffyness disappears. I wonder why? Yesterday I began packing my bag for my cruise. Yes, 14 days ahead. There is still more to pack but I'll wait until later. Aren't silly but that is me.
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A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"  



A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. "Hello there and what is your name?" "Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?" "I'm Jim." "Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?" “Sure!" replies Jim. "Let's go!" At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk and asks, "Is this your brother?" "No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. "Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" "Then, it must be your boyfriend!" Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!" "Then, who is it?" Stacey replies, "That's me before my operation!" 


Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!"  



A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!" 



While on a date a women goes to the bathroom

Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room

Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!

Man: It's not a big deal.

Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Man: ...............  


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That's about from me today. Soon I'll be writing again.


                                   " SEE YA "

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                             " Cruisin Paul "

10 comments:

  1. Hi Paul, referring to your comment on my post...it is not a snake. It is actually a fish which has a snake-like head, that is why it is called a snakehead fish. Very soon you will be on your cruise!

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    1. Thank goodness Nancy that it isn;t a snake. See ya.

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  2. Love the joke with the dog and other about the bridge kiss.

    Have fun with your packing and trip. Bring something long for your stuffy nose in case it gets worse.

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    1. It's amazing Jean, it's now 12:30 and my nose is OK and I'm breathing fine.

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  3. If i had a cruise coming up, i wouldn't wait until the last minute to pack, either. Thanks for the laughs!

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  4. Not my wife, She packs the night before. I couldn't do that.

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  5. It sounds like you can't wait for your cruise (who could fault you). Thanks for the jokes. They were excellent this week.

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  6. You are totally correct Rhonda. I can't wait.See ya

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  7. LOL @ the jokes thanks for the laughs :-)

    So Pauleo you have started packing ...it's getting very near now I can tell your excited heheh!

    Have a tanfastic day and hope your warm

    I added you to my WW Linky :-)

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  8. Thanks Steveo and yes I'm just a little bit excited.

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Thanks for commenting!