Thursday, January 25, 2018

Thursday Before Leaving Our Cruise

Good morning everyone. Well it will be four days until I'm my cruise and I'm ready to go. I hope to have many photos to show you when I get back both from our ship the Celebrity Reflection and the many excursions that we will be on.
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JOKE: The Cheating Husband

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions
overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening at around
8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes
outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless
complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling, I can’t lie to you,” the husband said. “I’ve been having an
affair with my secretary and we had sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t
wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve
been playing golf!”


Cheating

A woman was in bed having sex with her husband's friend when the telephone rang.
After hanging up, she says, ''That was Harry, but don't worry -- he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you.''

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I went into my favorite bar last night, and I saw one of my good friends sitting alone, looking depressed. I went over to him and asked what was wrong, he told me “I just caught my wife cheating on me with my best friend.”
“That’s horrible,” I told him. “What did you tell your wife?”
“I told her to pack her bags and get the hell out!” He said.
“And what did you say to your best friend?” I asked.
“BAD DOG!” He replied.



A wife asks her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?”
“After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.”
“If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?”
“We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.”
“If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house,” the wife asks, “would she sleep in our bed?”
“Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It’s going to last along time, so I guess she would.”
“If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?”
“Oh, no,” the husband replies. “She’s left-handed.”



What is the difference between stress, tension, and panic?
Stress: Your wife is pregnant.
Tension: Your girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic: Your wife and girlfriend are pregnant.
 
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A man catches his wife in bed with another man and yells "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" His wife turns to the man she's in bed with and says "see, I told you he's an idiot!"
 
 
 
 
"My girlfriend broke up with me and left a note saying she ran off with the tractor salesman. I was destroyed when I read the John Deere letter." 
 
                                              --------------------------------------------------
 
How does a woman know her man is cheating on her?
He starts bathing twice a week.
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                ---------------------------------------------------
 
That's it for now until I come back from my cruise.
 
 
                                      " See Ya My Friends "
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                                                 " Cruisin Paul "

9 comments:

  1. Got some cute jokes today. I wish people signed jokes like writers and artists sign their stuff. They don't get the create they deserve.

    Hope you two have a wonderful time on your cruise, but I know you will. Can't wait to see the photos afterward.

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    1. Definitely Jean. Ciao until then my friend.

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  2. Great jokes today. Bon Voyage!!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mimi. See ya when I come back with some photos.

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  3. Enjoy your cruise. Love the golf joke.

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  4. LOL @ the jokes and I have to admit I have tried weighing myself without socks too makes no difference haha!

    Well enjoy your cruise Pauleo I am sure you both will have a fantastic time, see it's not taken long to come has it now ...less than a week now to go :-)

    Have a great time and don't forget to wave ...get it wave? ok I will get my coat :-)

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  5. Steveo, you have to take off your socks and eye glasses before you weigh in.

    On Sunday we go to the Fairfield Inn to stay over night and then in the early morning we're taking a shuttle to the airport. We leave at 7:10 to Fort Lauderdale and then taxi to the port and then cruising, cruising, cruising my friend.

    I'll wave to you when I'm top deck. See ya.

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  6. Have a brilliant time Pauleo I will look out for the wave lol

    Enjoy the cruise and take care :-)

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Thanks for commenting!