Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Here We Go Again, I Hope


Good morning my friends. Once again I'm going to give you my blog. Hopefully some of my friends will be stopping by to visit with me.
Last night Gerry called and informed me about our golfing time. He's going to pick me up on Friday, at 09:10am. I'll be ready.

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Try to explain women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"



Reward for goodness

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.

To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!" 




The name of your wife

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.

"Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.

"I was a good father," he answers.

"Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."

St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.

The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family.

But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon.

At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let’s get out of here."



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Well that will be it for today. Please enjoy your day and come back again.

                               " SEE YA "


Cruisin Paul

 

7 comments:

  1. Your blog works fine, as long as i type the URL into my browser. Great funnies, and i hope you have great fun golfing on Friday!

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    1. Thank you for sticking with me after all this mess Mimi. Thanks again.

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  2. I hope you enjoy your golfing game with Gerry. We are having a farewell dinner or a welcome dinner for our friend who has retired and now joining the pensioners' club!

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  3. Nancy, have a wonderful dinner for your retired friend. I love retirement.

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  4. Enjoy your golf Paul. I liked the joke with the wife riding a skateboard.

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  5. I hope you enjoyed your golf Pauleo

    LOL @ fluorescent golf balls :-)

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Thanks for commenting!