Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Wednesday Dull Outside

Good morning my most important friends. Why I said most important, it because you are the only friends that blog with me. Without you I would quit this blog because it would be wasting my time so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, all of you. So lets get to the funnies. 
Oh I wanted to let you all know, the other day I talked with my travel agent and friend Nancy about a cruise in 2021, yes 2021 and I found one, a 12 day cruise which had two places that I have never been there and she's also taking the same cruise. After talking about it, it's set and I've already paid my initial payment. Whoopie do. I haven't been on the 2020 cruise yet and I'm all set for my 2021 cruise. That's why they call me Cruisin Paul. Well, I call me that, nobody else.  Sorry about that. LOL

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What kind of candy is never on time?          ChocoLATE 

What are the 4 major food groups?               Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. 
 
What do cannibals eat for dessert?                Chocolate covered aunts. 
 
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?          First, invade ze kitchen. 
 
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? There is M&M shells all over the floor. 
 
If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes..... Jake has diabetes...

 

 
 There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. 
 
Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on 
 
weight. 
 
 So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard 
 
 "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every 
 
time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
 
 


 
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
 
 
      Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
 
 The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. 
 
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my 
 
way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf 
 
of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this 
 
morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday." 
 
 
 


 
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     " See Ya My Important Friends. "
 
 
Cruisin Paul
 
 
 
 
 








10 comments:

  1. Well you left off the good parts. Where you going on this 12 day cruise? Love the memes and jokes. Nothing better than chocolate! (okay wine....but it goes great with chocolate)

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    Replies
    1. Peg, you can have the wine but I'll have the chocolate, well I'll let you have some. LOL

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  2. Love all the funnies. I always enjoy them.

    Way to go on your 2021 cruise. Why not get it done early. Probably a better price too.

    Have a fabulous day, Cruising Paul. 😎

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    Replies
    1. " Probably a better price too ", not really, The ship is just about full. I couldn't even get the cabin I wanted. But I'm going.

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  3. Well, i call you Cruisin' Paul, and i thank you for the funnies, and hope you get lots of chocolate (but not enough to get diabetes).

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    Replies
    1. Mimi, I will leave all of the chocolates just for you my friend. I have to stay away from all those sweet sugary because I'm fat enough now.

      Cruisin Paul

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  4. Well hello my important friend Pauleo good to hear you got your 21 cruise sorted I wished I was that well organised heheh!

    I enjoyed the jokes although now i want a chocolate but I can't :-)

    Have a choccytastic weekend you may now carry on as your were ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Steveo, I'm not a really organized person. Only when it deals with my cruises. See ya.

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  5. Good that you have booked your 2021 cruise ahead of time. Enjoyed all your funny jokes. I love chocolate too.

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    Replies
    1. I love chocolate Nancy but I can't eat that much. I would gain to much weight.

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Thanks for commenting!