Saturday, August 4, 2018

Sunny Saturday

Good morning everyone. Well we finally got a storm, a good one and I was in it. As I was driving home in my Camero, these heavy,dark clouds came upon me and boom, heavy rain and the ice pellets, ouch my poor care. Luckily I was near my home so the bumble bee was saved but other things weren't. The wind was so strong that everything on the deck was moved all over the place.
Sorry to say that my cousin Tony isn't doing well. He was in the hospital for 5 days and he told me that the chemo nearly killed him. He told me that he has lost 60 lbs and he's down to 160 lbs. Tony was a big man. He told me that the doctors are going to try something different. 
Tonight I'll be playing pool with Al. He's going down also. That's life I guess but it's tough to see with your relatives & friends.

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Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain... We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Love,
Mom


A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"




Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."


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That's all there is after that picture above.

                                 "  SEE YA "


Cruisin Paul

10 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about Tony. It's hard to watch someone you care about go downhill like that.

    I laughed at the Redneck motor home. I was watching a TV program about the tiny house movement and they had a place that looked a lot like that only newer.

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    1. I wonder if I would ever see a motor home like this one on the road in Canada. Probably, we have rednecks here.

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  2. How sad about both Tony and Al. You and they are in my prayers.

    By the way, please do not ever feel you have to apologize for being “late” commenting on my blog. You have amnesty from me to comment when you can, and if you cannot, i know life gets in the way sometimes, i won’t hold it against you.

    Great fun today!

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    1. Thanks Mimi and I'm happy that I have amnesty.You are right when you said that life gets in the way. See ya.

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  3. I loved your blog, it's good, congratulations.
    visit my blog https://www.robsonpensador.blog.br

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping in and I'm happy that you liked my blog. See ya.

      Delete
  4. Hi Paul, you asked me what is fish balls. Fish balls are made from fish meat and mixed with flour. The textures is a bit springy and a bit bouncy. I like your Redneck jokes!

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    1. Thanks Nancy. I just wasn't sure what fish balls were and now I know.

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  5. Sorry to hear about Tony it must be so hard for him going through it all my best wishes to him.

    Hope you had a good game with Al :-)

    Well we should be getting some rain tonight and tomorrow this heat has been exhausting it's so muggy and horrible not known it like this here for years.

    The jokes made me laugh Pauleo I looked over here Saturday I must had got here before you posted this post

    Have a nice day Pauleo and thanks for popping by to take the bottom left path :-)

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  6. Designated decoy? How did the rednecks figure out to do that?

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Thanks for commenting!