Saturday, November 3, 2018

Cool, Sunny Saturday

Well. well, well. Hello my friends. It's a wonderful Saturday morning and for all my American friends, it's four more days until the midterm elections. I'm not going to say anything about them because I'm a Canadian and I have no control with either the Republicans nor the Democrats or anything about President Trump.
Four days away from crucial midterm elections, one of the major questions is whether the Republicans will keep control of the Senate or whether the Democrats will gain enough seats to take over. That's all I'll say but because of the excitement, I'm going to some political jokes in preparation  for the mid term election. I hope that you enjoyment and not hate me like Trump hates the Democrats. 

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I have been in Grand Turk for five times. I just love this place. 

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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
 




A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."  




In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."



It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."

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                                " SEE YOU "

Cruisin Paul

 

11 comments:

  1. You are a brave man, Paul, posting all these political cartoons. Just kidding!!!!I love the one of the woman with all the shopping bags. I've actually been in the same mind-set lately where nothing I do really matters anymore because we're all doomed.

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    1. Oh my, I thought for a moment that I had offended you Jean. Thank goodness I saw the " Just Kidding "
      I love you all and no matter what happens after Tuesday, we'll still love each other. I hope! LOL

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  2. Heeheehee! Very neutral jokes, and very funny, especially the finding intelligent life in congress.

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    1. Mimi, I made sure to make the jokes very neutral not like the last time. Ouch!

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  3. Nice photos of Grand Turk Pauleo

    I laughed at the jokes even though I am not up on American politics we have enough of our own here at the moment LOL

    What a cute kitty

    Have a politicallytastic Sunday Pauleo ;-)

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  4. Isn't amazing Steveo how we all seem to have problems in our countries. The problems are that we aren't controlling our countries. There are rich asses are doing it. See ya.

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  5. We all have our own political jokes! That is one cute good morning greeting from the little kitty! Have a great new week!

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  6. Thanks Nancy. Have a great week also.

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  7. Paul it is still so difficult to visit you. I keep getting that widget page. But you can't get rid of me that easily my dear. :-)
    I'm voting tomorrow. :-)

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    1. Try this Peg

      https://cruisinpaul.blogspot.com

      Congratulations for voting. I hope everyone makes that proud decision. Good luck my friend.

      Cruisin Paul

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  8. That economic stimulus plan has been around for a long time. I guess somethings change and some things don't.

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Thanks for commenting!