Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Good morning everyone. My neighbor Dave has plugged the drainage system that will help us both when the rain comes off the roofs. His son and friend dug the line that helped both of us and now I should do all right. I could have never done this without their help. Great neighbors.

                ------------------------------------------------



An alcoholic wakes up in jail.

He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"
 
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

A priest, an alcoholic, and an engineer are sentenced to death.

They are to be killed by the guillotine.

First is the priest. The executioner says "You can go on the guillotine either face up or face down". The priest says "I want to die face up, looking up to the heavens". So the priest lies face up. The executioner releases the blade; the blade falls rapidly but suddenly stops just 1 inch from the priest's neck. Given the miracle, the priest is allowed to walk free.

Next comes the alcoholic. The executioner offers him the same choice, "Do you want to lie facing up or facing down?". The alcoholic says "I want to face up... to remember my glorious drinking days". So the alcoholic lies face up. The executioner releases the blade, and again, it suddenly stops just 1 inch from the man's neck. Given the miracle, the alcoholic is allowed to walk free.

Finally, it's the engineer's turn. Once again, the executioner offers him the same choice, "Face up or face down?". The engineer scratches his head and says "face up I guess". So the engineer lies face up. Just as the executioner is about to release the blade, the engineer starts shouting. "WAIT WAIT!! .... I found the problem!".
 
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 



 





Gary and Pete, 2 alcoholics, were lost at sea.

While floating in their small boat, they spotted a bottle on the water.
Gary quickly grabbed the bottle and took out the cork.
To his shock, a genie flew out.
"You have freed me. You may have a wish."
Gary thought hard and pointed at the sea.
"Turn all this water into Guiness."
>There was a flash and the genie was gone, leaving a frothy sea of Guinness.
"why would you do that?!" complained Pete.
"What, you don't want beer?" asked Gary.

Pete shook his head and sighed.
"Now we'll have to piss in the boat."
 

 
   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                    ------------------------------------------------------------
 

                     -----------------------------------------------------------
 
 
 
Cruisin Paul

 
 

12 comments:

  1. I love great neighbors. I'll toast them (wink wink)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been very lucky with having wonderful neighbors.

      Delete
  2. Your neighbors are wonderful, maybe you need to buy them a nice bottle of something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm way ahead of you Mimi. My parents taught me that when someone helps out of love, give back the love in any way.

      Delete
  3. You are blessed with good neighbours. Thanks for the alcoholic jokes. Have a wonderful week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm very lucky. I loved doing this blog especially since I don't drink alcohol.

      Delete
  4. good neighbors are a real gift and you got 2 great ones - hoping your muddy days are over

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank god you have good neighbours Pauleo another worry out the way, let's hope it all gets seen to soon :-)


    I liked the funnies heheh!that bloke has a drink for every illness LOL :-)

    Have a relaxingtastic weeknd Pauleo 👍

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm a very lucky guy with these great neighbors.

      Delete
  6. hehehe....lol
    thank you for jokes and memes...

    Have a wonderful weekend

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi again Tanza. Glad that you enjoyed the blog. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!