Good morning everyone. On Friday the so called landscaper started in the backyards but after 2 hours he stopped but before he left he turned his tractor towards our drain and destroyed our drain leaving a whole. He didn't inform anyone about it. Anyone could have fallen and broke their leg. On Sunday morning my wife was in the back yard and was lucky that she didn't fall in the hole. She called on Monday to inform the builder about the problem and later they came to fix it. Here we go again.I'm going crazy around here.
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.
A lawyer was working in his office when Satan appeared. "I can make it so you win every case in your career and make huge piles of money. In exchange you will give me your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, your parent's souls, your grandparent's souls and the souls of all your friends!"
My friends used to laugh at me when I told them that I wanted to become a comedian
Jimmy was racing his friends to the nearest tree
This motivated Jimmy. He was set on winning.
He would not be deterred.
I went to the pub on Friday with my friends and didn't come home until Sunday night. When i got home, my wife was so angry...
i said "that would be bloody lovely".
So I didn't see her on the Monday, the Tuesday or the Wednesday,but by Thurday the swelling around my eyes went down enough to make her out again.