Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Beautiful Tuesday

Good morning friends. Well, my backyard has not been done yet.  On Friday it will be October the 1st, and I've been told that the so called landscaper is to be here to do the lawn. He probably will do it because it's on my birthday. I guess that's his gift to me. LOL

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A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather

One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my Wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."

The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.

But a short while later, he receives another message. "Stupid autocorrect. I meant  WiFi.
 

 

Growing up in a family involved with the mob, I never quite understood what my mom meant when she said that dad was a “made man”

Until I walked in on him banging the maid.
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How many mob men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the bulb. One to watch and one to shoot the witness.
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The mob boss sends two of his men to kill a gangster...

They park outside his house half an hour before his expected return, check their guns, and wait. Half an hour later, the gangster's not there. They keep waiting in silence, an hour passes - and he's not there. Time passes, and the target is still not home. Finally, one of the hitmen looks at the watch and says:

"We've been here for three hours, and he still ain't showed up."

"Jeez," the other hitman says, " I hope nothing happened to him. "
 

 
 

 It is an ancient scene. A mob is chasing a thief down a road and they are going to stone him to death. He runs, turns down an alley and it is a dead end with one door at the end. He runs to the door but it is locked, so he bangs on the door but there is no answer. The crowd converges on him. Suddenly the door open and Jesus steps out and the crowd hushes and back away. He says, 'If anyone here has not sinned, let them cast the first stone!' The crowd stands in stunned silence. Suddenly a little old lady steps out of the crowd, throws a stone at the thief. It hits him in the head and he goes down bleeding. Jesus turns to the old woman and says, You know ma, sometimes you piss me off.
 

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Cruisin Paul

 

7 comments:

  1. Heeheehee! Sorry, the IRS doesn't have an internship program, they don't want any competition. Thanks for the grins, and i do hope you get your lawn on your birthday.

    Many happy returns to you!

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    Replies
    1. Oh my God, the man came today to prepare the grounds for Sod. Horray, I'm getting sod on my birthday.

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  2. Happy Birthday Paul!

    Wishing you a wonderful day!

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    Replies
    1. I will never forget my birthday, Oct. 1st 2021 the day I receive my sod for my lawn. Horray.

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  3. Happy Birthday, Paul! Hope the landscaper delivers your birthday gift on time. Enjoy your birthday.

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    Replies
    1. He came to prepare my grounds today and tomorrow, my birthday he's bringing my sod. Goodnes, goodness, goodness.

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  4. Belated Happy Birthday Pauleo I hope you had a cakeworthy day and was poilt rotton heheh!

    Glad to hear things are coming along at last

    I laughed at the funnies neede that it's been falling down with rain here for hours you could shower in it 👀

    Have a birthdaytastic weekend 🎂

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!