Saturday, December 4, 2021

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.

" Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,

We're happy tonight,

Walking in a winter wonderland. "

 

Good morning my wonderful friends. Yesterday the snow was falling slowly and heavy on the ground. It was so beautiful. It was exactly how I love it.  Christmas is the best time the year and as I get older, it is so important to me. I'm not sure how many more Christmas's I'll get. Yesterday another person I went to school with, passed away. Life is so important.

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A multinational company held a reception to celebrate Christmas. The waiter gave each guest a glass of Champagne, but on inspection each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly.

The Swede asked for new Champagne in the same glass.

The Englishman demanded to have new Champagne in a new glass.

The Finn picked out the fly out and drank the Champagne.

The Russian drank the Champagne, fly and all.

The Chinese ate the fly but left the Champagne.

The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.

The Italian drank two thirds of the Champagne and then demanded to have a new glass.

The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish.

The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the Champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman.

The American sued the restaurant and claimed $50 million in compensation.

The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted: “Now spit out all that you swallowed!”

 


 

 


 

It was just before Christmas, and the jailer was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, ‘What are you charged with?’

The prisoner replied, ‘Doing my Christmas shopping too early’.

‘That’s no crime’, said the jailer. ‘Just how early were you doing this shopping?’

‘Before the shop opened’, answered the prisoner.

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Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

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Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?

Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.


Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

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Cruisin Paul


 
 

                  

 

 

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for the funnies, enjoy your White Christmas!

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    Replies
    1. I love the white Christmas if snow comes down slowly & soft Mimi.

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  2. No snow here, not even a single drop. Enjoy the beauty of the pure white snow and enjoy your Christmas shopping and decoration.

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    Replies
    1. Snow is gone for now and as far as gifts, we'll see.

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  3. Happy Holidays my friend and I am wishing you many more Christmases!

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  4. It's been cold on and off here but only snow up north so far

    Sorry to hear about your schoolfriend Pauleo

    Liked the jokes especially the the snoring butt LOL 🎅

    Have a farttastic week Pauleo 👍

    I have added you to my linkypops

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are getting snow on and off also. I plan on putting my Camero in the garage for the winter. She needs some sleep.

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Thanks for commenting!