Friday, December 22, 2017


                     MERRY CHRISTMAS

                         CRUISIN PAUL

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Wednesday Before Christmas

Good morning everyone. It's just a few days before Christmas and after that my Cruise. Hooray!!!!!!! Sorry about that. I was sorry hearing about a bus accident in Mexico dealing with visitors from two cruise ship where people died. It worries when I hear about these because I've arranged three excursions on my cruise. I'm very sorry for these people just before Christmas. I'm giving my condolences to these people.
Now, lets start preparing for our Christmas.



An male elf was so paranoid about the size of his willy that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a elf nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh." Blushing the man drops his trousers. "It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that." "Really?" the relieved elf asked. She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."

That's it for today. There will be one more blog just before Christmas.


 " Cruisin Paul "

Sunday, December 17, 2017

A Week Before Christmas Sunday

Good morning Friends. I just received an email from Nancy, my travel agent and he said that she will be seeing me next week with all the necessary material we need for our cruise. I'm really ready. I was talking with my friend Gerry and he told me that he planned a cruise in February 7th. He will be going roughly some of the same ports that we'll be at. Mary Lou & I will be getting home on February 9th. I told Gerry, that when he gets home form his cruise, we'll have to sit together and talk about our cruises.
For now we are all waiting just for Christmas. Last night Mary Lou & I were at my daughter's home visiting the grandchildren while they go to their Christmas party. I had a great time with Emily & Cole.
One day I found a photo that a friend of mine. He was called Sarge Charlie. He was the husband of my wonderful friend Bee. Every Christmas he and I would talk about the homes that have Christmas lights. I use to put a lot of lights on my home during Christmas. Charlie every year would send me this photo letting me know that he also put Christmas light on his place. What a funny character Sarge was. I really miss him a great deal. Here is the photo he sent me.
                        Love you Charlie.

Mistletoe JokeKissing under the mistletoe

Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl.  In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy.  Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section.  'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.
The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'.
'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'

Father Christmas CallsChristmas Traditions Germany

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.'
A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.
'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.
'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas'.

Out of the Mouths... Amusing Christmas StoryRudolph the red nosed reindeer

Daniel aged 4, returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story.
He had learned all about the wise men from the east who brought gifts to the baby Jesus.
Daniel was so excited he just had to tell his parents, 'I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas. There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three blokes on camels had to deliver all the toys.  And Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big light in the sky to find their way around'.


           Well that's it for now my friends. 

                                    " See Ya "

                                " Cruisin Paul "

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Wednesday

Good morning, good morning, good morning friend. It's amazing what's going in the United States this morning.
In a stunning victory Democrat Doug Jones defeated Roy Moore and President Trump . Amazing. 

Now lets go on with the rest of the news. 

 I wanted to give my American friends a little laugh this morning. Here's another one.
Not me. I'm cold as heck and I would never do this. I'm preparing my shorts for my cruise.

The judge asked the defendant what he was charged with.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," was the reply.
"That not illegal!. How early were you shopping?"
"Before the store was open."

How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.

Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
' What denomination?' asked the clerk.
'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?' said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.'

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said,
"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.' 


That's it for today. I'm happy today. I'll go and get a big cup of coffee.

                                   " SEE YA "

                           " Cruisin Paul "