Thursday, April 29, 2021

Am I  wet. It has been raining since early last night and it's still raining. I feel like Noah without an Arc. My neighbors cut their lawns yesterday because of preceding rain while I watched my lawn without grass, just mud and rocks. The builder hasn't fixed my area yet and all I have is mud this morning. At least my driveway is finished. I drove my Camero back into the garage yesterday. I thank my good friend Ron for allowing me to put the Camero in his driveway instead on the road for 10 days. 


 I wanted to start my blog this morning with a very important picture. Babies who really don't see racism. I don't want to use my blog in anyway but since I live in Canada and right across from me is the United States, all I've been seeing is the police killing black people. I never see white people dying. I have three students who I taught and today they are police officers. I am so proud of these young men. They respect their jobs, have difficult jobs but still respect those around them. Remember that picture " You are Beautiful ".

Mike & John are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Mike you've seen John.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby

For instance, my name, address, telephone number

A horse and a baby chicken were playing in the barnyard...

...when the horse fell into some quicksand. The baby chicken, wanting to help his friend, goes to find the farmer for assistance but he’s nowhere to be found. The baby chicken finds the farmer’s Aston Martin in the garage, however, so he backs it up to the quicksand. He then ties some rope around the horse and some rope around the car’s fender, steps on the gas, and pulls the horse free. Hooray!

The next day the horse and the baby chicken are at it again, but this time the baby chicken falls into the quicksand. The horse, wanting to help his friend, looks for the farmer but he’s nowhere to be found. He goes to the barn and, this time, there’s no Aston Martin either. So the horse straddles the quicksand and lowers his penis. The baby chicken grabs hold and is lifted up to safety.

The moral of the story? If you’ve got a big dick, you don’t need a fancy car to pick up chicks.



Like a baby

A newlywed couple who have decided to wait until marriage, are getting undressed together for the first time. Before they get started, the man says, "I don't want you to be surprised - my dick... It's like a baby". The woman's face turns serious for a second as she thinks about it, and then she smiles and says "okay, I'm fine with it. I don't care".

Thirty seconds later, she runs out of the bedroom screaming. "You said 'like a baby'!". The man, confused and ashamed, replies "y.. yeah.. About 20 inches, and weighs 8 lbs..."


Cruisin Paul


Saturday, April 24, 2021

It's Spring and next week it will be in the high 70's and low 80's. It's about time. I'll be able to bring our cars into the garage because the driveway will be OK for us to drive on it. 

Now I want to do the sidewalk and the shed pad so that I can buy my shed. We still have some problems around our home. Yes, it's a new home but this builder had many bad people who didn't know what the hell they were doing and now we have deal with these stupid problems.

My friend Gerry had golfed for the first time but then our premier decided to have a LOCKDOWN.  So for Gerry I'm doing this blog for him and others.


Mark of respect

Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.

“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.”

“Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to her for 35 years.”



The right club?

A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated.

On the 11th, his ball lay about 160 yards from the green and as he eyed up the shot, he asked his caddie, “Do you think I can get there with a 4-iron?”

“Eventually,” replied the caddie, wearily.



The married couple

As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, “Honey, I’ve got something to confess: I’m a golf nut, and every chance I get, I’ll be playing golf!”

“Since we’re being honest,” replies the bride, “I have to tell you that I’m a hooker.”

The groom replies, “That’s okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight.”



Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.

‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.

‘A golf gun?  What’s a golf gun?’

‘I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.’



Getting the right result

“You’re late on the tee, John.”

“Yes, well being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or go and play golf.”

“Okay, but why are you so late?”

“I had to toss it 15 times!”




                        What a swing.

And finally, a classic…

Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?

In case theyget a hole in one.



Cruisin Paul




Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Well the electrician came to find out why my lights are flashing when the washing machine is on. Also why we are having problems with our phones. The electrician put the electrical lines in the home as well as the phone lines. I'm shocked with all the crazy problems we've have since we entered this NEW home. Yes, I said NEW home. I'm going crazy. My neighbor and friend, Ron said that maybe my home has a ghost.  One good thing was that my driveway was finished but I have to wait for 10 days to drive our cars on it. 







Cruisin Paul


Thursday, April 15, 2021

Good morning friends. I just got a phone call from Thrasher's for my car. They have two new tires to put on in the front of my Camero. They put two new tires in the back last year and now I have  the front done. With my driveway being done at the moment, it's difficult to walk to get to my car. It's at my friend's across the street. I may need some assistance to get there.




Cruisin Paul



Saturday, April 10, 2021

Good morning everyone. The sun is out and today will be wonderful. Yesterday we  received our vaccine shot at the Libro Centre in Amherstburg. It was well organized and the many people treated us well. We received the
Pfizer-BioNTech and as of now we haven't had any side affects except a sore arm. I guess we have to wait  until August to get the second shot.

The homes behind us all having fences put up and homes along us are having small fences. I'm being inclosed. At least my neighbours on both side of me aren't. It will allows us to have some air.

Today I'm having my blog's jokes and cartoons are about blonds. They always have jokes about blonds. Blonds are very smart. My wife is a blond and she is very smart so enjoy the blog but remember blonds are probably smarter then all of us. 


 Well the end of the blonde jokes. All of you brunettes, you coming next. LOL




 Cruisin Paul


Sunday, April 4, 2021

Hi there friends. I had a very enjoyable Easter dinner made by my wife, ham, scallop potatoes and veggies with Easter bread for dessert. Tomorrow begins a new week. On Tuesday we go to to the Libro Centre to get our vaccine shots and later I'll drive to stop in Gerry's driveway to talk and see him, we'll be many spaces between each other. On Thursday I bring my Camero in for an oil change, brake check and the tires. I also plan on ordering for two front tires. I had the two back tires done last year and after the fronts are done, my Camero will be like brand new.


Little Karl was with his grandma in a supermarket

Little Karl yelled to his grandma: Granny, I need to pee!

Grandma replied: We are in a public place, don't say you need to pee, say something nice, say you need to sing.

Later, when grandma was sleeping, Little Karl went to grandmas room and woke her: Granny, I need to sing!

Grandma: It's midnight, you can't sing now.

Little Karl: But I need to sing really bad!

Grandma: Well ok then. Sing quietly to grannys ear.


At the age of 65, my Grandma started walking 5 miles a day.

She's 92 now. We have no idea where she is.

My grandma had cataract surgery on both eyes

I was on the phone with my grandpa asking how she was feeling.

Gpa: She’s recovering really well, she can see much clearer. She’s pretty happy with the results.

Me: That’s good, no side effects?

Gpa: There is one troubling side effect

Me: What? Is she okay?

Gpa: Yah, she’s fine, but she can actually see me now.


A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know

. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.

Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.

A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"



Cruisin Paul