Thursday, July 30, 2015

A Nicer Thursday( Cooler )

Well after the storm last night, the temperature went down though it's still warm, just not stifling hot. Today I have to have three things done. One, my vehicle licence ( plate ) renewal ( $100 ) , two, my driver's licence renewal ( $80 ) and finally third,my photo health card re-registration ( $0 ) thank God. After all that ( that will take some time unfortunately ) I hope to have a coffee with my cousin Dan. I'm going to have to take it easy with these lunches. Last week I gained three pounds so this week I'm cutting down a lot. Tomorrow as I already stated, that will be golfing Friday morning with Brian so there won't be time to write a blog. I'll be back with my blog on Saturday. I know that you all are so upset about that. Ha,ha,ha. 



                   Being an Italian, I wouldn't want them to be brains. Her blonde brain is OK already.

The Pearly Gates

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,
where she is greeted by St. Peter.
"Welcome!" he says. "Because we are currently operating
at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls
into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions
correctly to gain entrance."

"Okay," says the blonde.

"Here's your question: name two days of the week
that begin with the letter T."

"That's easy. Today and tomorrow!"

"Well, that's not the answer I was thinking of, but I'll give you another question.

How many seconds are there in a year?"

"That's easy. Twelve!"


"January second, February second, March second -- "

"Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well.
Well, Okay. I'll give you one more chance. What's God's name?"

"That's easy. Howard!"


"You know -- 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...

Polish Priest

A blonde was telling a priest a Polish joke,
when halfway through the priest interrupts her,
"Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes,
"Do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

Questions & Answers

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.



Past Cruise Photos

             A storm was coming over the mountains in St. Maarten. We didn't get wet this time.

                                     This was our last night just before arriving Miami. 


That's it for today. I have to leave but before I go, have an enjoyable Thursday and keep cool, especially Sandy whose in 100 degree heat. Please be careful my friend.




Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Brilliant Sunny Wednesday

It's beautiful outside this morning but very hot and will be getting hotter until the day is finished. Yesterday I went to to the mall as I said I was going to do. I had a $50 card to spend and I needed to to get myself a new pair of Sweat pants. I found one and  brought it to the desk to pay for it. After the girl rang it up it said $90.50 please. Was she kidding? I told her no, you keep them. I'm still shocked thinking about $90. Have you ever bought sweat pants for $90?  After that Mary Lou found a beautiful outfit for the cruise. Lucky her. I left the mall with nothing. Oh well, that's life.


Matt and his colleagues were at work one day when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought tickets, seeing it was for charity.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
His colleague who won the first prize got six month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates.
Second prize winner got three month's supply of Cadbury's chocolates.
Matt won the tenth prize - a toilet brush.
About a week later, at the office canteen, the first prize winner asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said the the second prize winner, "I love chocolates"
"So do I," said the first prize winner. "And how's the toilet brush?" he asked Matt
"Not so good," Matt said, "I think I'll go back to paper."

Winning the Lottery
A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself... "Brandi, you have to buy a ticket."


Past Cruise Photos

                                                               Beautiful pool at Grand Turk.

                                                               The waters of St. Thomas.

                                     This is my daughter AmyLynn horse riding at WETRA.
That's it for now. Have a wonderful beautiful Wednesday but be careful for the heat. 
                                                                               SEE YA.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Another hot Tuesday Here In Amherstbug.

Good morning my good friends. The sun is out, bright and early and very warm. It will hit in the 90's today and tomorrow but the it will go down in the middle 80;s the rest of the week. That will be good because last night Brian called and asked me if I wanted to go play golf on Friday. He has a tee time at 10:00. I jumped at it and thanked him for the opportunity to get out again. I'm so happy to out. Last night we visited Al & Meilin and of course Al & I had a very interesting evening playing pool. 



The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the
priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman
knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her
in my attic, and they never found her."
"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to
confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for
rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you
would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you
hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the
good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I
ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to
tell her that the war is over?"

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex."What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.

 Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ.
- Aaron, you see what I am seeing?
- Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine.
- That long?
- No, that dead.




Past Cruise Photos

                                                       Curacao, a wonderful island to visit.

         Open seas of the Caribbean. The waves were starting to get larger and you can feel it.

    Mary Lou is sitting in front of the Flower Clock in Niagara Falls. This clock really works and they change the flowers through out the year.


   That's it for now. I'm headed out to Devonshire Mall in Windsor. I was given a $50 card quite a long time and I haven't used it yet but today I will. Have a great day but be careful in the heat, That's you Sandee especially. 
                                                                                SEE YA.