Saturday, August 1, 2020

Beautiful Saturday

Good morning everyone. Blogger has decided to suddenly change their way so I had to get use to different ways to eventually do my blog.
I've had a good week. Each day we've been cleaning out the house and Mary Lou has learned how to do the Kijiji. I think I getting into this moving stuff now. Three months to go and I'm sure it will go quickly.

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A man pokes his head into a barbershop and asks how long the wait is for a haircut

The barber tells him, "We're backed up. It's going to be about three hours."

The man says, "All right, I'll come back later then," but he doesn't show up until days later, when he pokes his head in and asks again how long the wait is for a haircut.

The barber says it going to be around an hour, to which the man replies, "Okay, I just got to go take care of something." But he doesn't return that day either.

When the man showed up again, the barber was certain the man would stick around, since the shop was empty. "There's one person a head of you. We should be able to get you done in less than twenty minutes." The man says that sounds good and he'll be back then.

The barber in disbelief tells one of his patrons, "I'll give you you're next two cuts free if you find out where that fella is going. He keeps showing up and asking how long to get a haircut, then leaving without ever showing back up to get it."

The patron takes him up on his offer.

The barber eagerly asks, "So where's he going?"

The man tells him, "He's going to your house to see your wife."


 

 

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

“I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."


A little girl is getting a haircut in a barbershop.

About halfway through, she pulls a Hostess pastry out of her pocket, unwraps it, and begins eating.
The barber warns her, "Honey, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie..."
She beams up at him and says, "I know! I'm gonna get tits, too!"





After his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

“Ciao, Luigi. How wassa the trip?” His friend said.

“Everything was perfecto, except for the train down.” Luigi said

“Virginia and I boarda da train at Grand Central Station. Virginia packa a huge picnic basket. But the conductore came, waga his finger and said: ‘no eat in disa car. Musta eat in da dining car.’

So, mea and my bella wife Virginia go to da dining car. We mangia and open a bottle of a nice wine. Conductor walka by again. He tell me ‘no drinka in dis car! Must use a club car!’

So, we go to da club car. Then, my bella Virginia and I go to da sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to hava some fun when the conductore walka through the hallway shouting ata da top of his lungs: ‘Nofolka, Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!’ (Norfolk, Virginia)




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Cruisin Paul


Sunday, July 26, 2020

Bright, Sunny Sunday

Good morning friends. I already wrote a paragraph but lost it and I'm so exhausted I'm not going to write it again. It was about my two weeks of going to the many places having to arrange the many different things I had to buy for my new home. I'm exhausted and I still had to meet with the man who is doing my driveway, my patio and my pad for my shed. Did I already say good morning to you?

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A teenager tells his father, “There’s water in my car’s carburetor.”

The father looks confused and says, “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”

But the son insists, “I’m telling you, there’s water in the carburetor.”

His father is starting to get a little nervous. “You don’t even know what a carburetor is” he says, “I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

“In the pool.”
 
 
 

A young teenager walks in to a pharmacy

A young teenager walks in to a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. There was a beautiful assistant behind the counter and she noticed that the boy was inexperienced. She handed him the package and asked if he knew how to put it on.
“No, I’ve never done it”.
Next thing he knew, the assistant opened the package, took one out and slid it on her thumb. She warned the boy to make sure that it was secure and to leave excess rubber on the tip. The woman saw that the boy still wasn’t sure, so she looked around to see if anyone was there.
“Just a minute”, she said while she took the boys hand and led him to another room.
She unbuttoned her blouse and removed it.
“Do these excite you?”, she asked.
Well the boy was so dumbstruck that he just nodded. She then said that it was time to put the condom on.
The assistant dropped her panties and jumped on the boy’s wiener. It was all wonderful, but unfortunately the boy couldn’t hold it back.
“SPLAT”
He was done within moments.
The woman looked at him and asked if he had put the condom on.
“Sure thing, sealed with a bit of rubber on top”, the boy said and held his thumb up.
The assistant fainted.
 
 
 

A teenager comes home from schooling being very anxious

A teenager comes home from school and being very anxious asks her
mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"


"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.


"But," she cried, "when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
 
 
 
 
 
 

Teenager Jamie stormed into the house furiously "Dad! You asked me to put a potato in my swimming trunks to impress the girls there!!!"

"You did not specify it had to go in front!!!!!"
 
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Teenager: I Think I'm pregnant mom.

Mom: No you're not

Teenager: I believe I'm pregnant!

Mom: I said you're not!

Teenager: I'M PREGNANT! WHY ARE YOU IN DENIAL? I'M PREGNANT! PREGNAAAANT!

MOM: SHUT UP SON! You're not!
 
 
 
 
 
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    Have A Wonderful Day My Friends 
 
 
Cruisin Paul
 
                                           

Sunday, July 19, 2020

Rain, Storm, Thunder, Lightning Sunday

Good Sunday afternoon my good friends. It looks like it's going to rain later in the day. My wife cut the lawn early in the morning and it now is looking like a storm is approaching. 
We have three more places to go regarding materials for our new home. It's nice to take a weekend off and get my brain rested. 

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Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"







Jesus came across an adulteress crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother! Sometimes you really tick me off!"
 
 




Mother to daughter: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?"

"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children."
 
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The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
 
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Cruisin Paul

 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Hot, Humid & Dry Wednesday

Good afternoon everyone. My wife & I had to go to our new home for a walk around with the electrician. Tomorrow we have to go to the flooring place and for our paint. I'm getting a little tired. I spoke to another man who plans on putting the antenna on our home. 

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Cruisin Paul
 

Sunday, July 12, 2020

July 13th, 1974 Wedding Day

The other day my wife informed me that I made a mistake about how many years that we have been married. I've been telling friends that this 13th would be 45 years of bliss. Oops, I did make a mistake. I have no idea how I made that mistake but I did. 
2020, July 13th my wife & I will have been married 46 wonderful years. I said before, without her I'd be screwed.

1974, July 13th
--------------------

                  Mary Lou Maitland
         Preparing to get married to
                Paul F. Pietrangelo

Here is Paul with his groomsmen. Someone had mentioned that it looked like the Godfather movie. 

            11:00am Saturday July 13th 


                          We made it.


This is the entire group with us in the    middle .


After enjoying the wedding dinner and many photos taken Mary Lou & I said our good byes and begin our honeymoon and the beginning of our lives together.

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Jump to 2020, July 13th, three children, my stroke, 31 years of my teaching, Mary Lou 10 years of teaching being a wonderful mother and working at Sobey's grocery store and 14 cruises, here is the two of us on our

             46th Wedding Anniversary 

                         
         Mr. & Mrs. Paul & Mary Lou

                         Pietrangelo



     Cruisin Paul & Cruisin Mary Lou

Thursday, July 9, 2020

Still HOT Thursday

Good afternoon everyone. It's still very hot but in the shade and with a cool breeze it's pretty good. I had lunch with my cousin Dan. Yes, we were at least 6 feet between each other. It's nice having a lunch with Dan. Next week on Tuesday, we go to choose  our new kitchen and bathroom cabinets & on Wednesday we go for a walk around our new home to make sure with the electician. There is so much to do. I'd hope that I'd didn't need to do all of these things but life is life.

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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"




A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you."





Jesus came across an adulteress crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother! Sometimes you really tick me off!"





Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"



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             " Great Friends care about one another "

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Cruisin Paul