Saturday, April 10, 2021

Good morning everyone. The sun is out and today will be wonderful. Yesterday we  received our vaccine shot at the Libro Centre in Amherstburg. It was well organized and the many people treated us well. We received the
Pfizer-BioNTech and as of now we haven't had any side affects except a sore arm. I guess we have to wait  until August to get the second shot.

The homes behind us all having fences put up and homes along us are having small fences. I'm being inclosed. At least my neighbours on both side of me aren't. It will allows us to have some air.

Today I'm having my blog's jokes and cartoons are about blonds. They always have jokes about blonds. Blonds are very smart. My wife is a blond and she is very smart so enjoy the blog but remember blonds are probably smarter then all of us. 

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 Well the end of the blonde jokes. All of you brunettes, you coming next. LOL

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 Cruisin Paul


 



Sunday, April 4, 2021

Hi there friends. I had a very enjoyable Easter dinner made by my wife, ham, scallop potatoes and veggies with Easter bread for dessert. Tomorrow begins a new week. On Tuesday we go to to the Libro Centre to get our vaccine shots and later I'll drive to stop in Gerry's driveway to talk and see him, we'll be many spaces between each other. On Thursday I bring my Camero in for an oil change, brake check and the tires. I also plan on ordering for two front tires. I had the two back tires done last year and after the fronts are done, my Camero will be like brand new.

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Little Karl was with his grandma in a supermarket

Little Karl yelled to his grandma: Granny, I need to pee!

Grandma replied: We are in a public place, don't say you need to pee, say something nice, say you need to sing.

Later, when grandma was sleeping, Little Karl went to grandmas room and woke her: Granny, I need to sing!

Grandma: It's midnight, you can't sing now.

Little Karl: But I need to sing really bad!

Grandma: Well ok then. Sing quietly to grannys ear.
 

 


At the age of 65, my Grandma started walking 5 miles a day.

She's 92 now. We have no idea where she is.
 
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My grandma had cataract surgery on both eyes

I was on the phone with my grandpa asking how she was feeling.

Gpa: She’s recovering really well, she can see much clearer. She’s pretty happy with the results.

Me: That’s good, no side effects?

Gpa: There is one troubling side effect

Me: What? Is she okay?

Gpa: Yah, she’s fine, but she can actually see me now.
 
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A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know

. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.

Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.

A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
 
 

 

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Cruisin Paul

 
 

Saturday, April 3, 2021

       Have a Happy Easter my friends.




Cruisin Paul


 


Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Hallelujah, Hooray, the painters are finished. The basement is now done. My daughter can go back to her to what she calls, " her domain ".


                  Happy Birthday Mary Lou.

My wonderful wife's birthday is today, March 31st. I won't say her birthday but I'll say she's older then me but looks 10 years younger as others have said.

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 Today's blog will only deal about great it is to be about a grandparent. Since Covid, we haven't enjoyed the opportunity of being with our grandchildren and we really miss them.


 









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 Cruisin Paul


 

Saturday, March 27, 2021

It's Saturday, the sun is out and I'm wide awake.  Good morning friends. Yesterday was a weird day. After a storm during the night, my daughter noticed that the phones weren't working. After calling Bell  ( we do have a cell phone ) and having two men working on the phones, finally they decided to have a person to come over later that day to  check on what's going on. After we hung up suddenly all the phones worked. Weird! This new area that we lived in is just crazy. On Monday we are having the painter come in to do the ceiling downstairs. It's now going on 5 weeks with this mess and my daughter hasn't slept in her new bed that she bought. One other crazy thing, my wife went down and tried to start cleaning. There is so much white dust around the place. The guys said that they would be cleaning up before they leave. Well they left and the place is a mess. I'm going crazy around here. I plan on taking my vaccine0 shot next week. At least there is one good thing going on. Maybe?

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My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

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I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket.

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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An old couple gets pulled over and...

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."

**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**

Lady cop - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "Nothing dear, She thinks she used to know you."

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I was talking to my grandfather

When he said
"your generation relies too much on technology"
I then said
" no grandpa yours does"
Then I unplugged his life support.

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My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
 
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A grandfather sits flustered in his workshop unable to recall where he left his toolbox. He calls over his grandson and asks him, "son, what's the name of the German that keeps stealing my tools?!"

"Alzheimers granddad, Alzheimers."
 
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Cruisin Paul


 
 

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Good evening everyone. Carol here is the picture of the gazebo I plan on buying. 


Out table and six chairs will fit under this gazebo. The painter came to do his job but wouldn't do it because the ceiling wasn't finished so they had to go and get the other man. He was here today and finished and now we have to wait again for the painter. There are so many other problems around this NEW home, yes it's suppose to be a NEW home. I'm just thinking, should I see my lawyer?

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A man died one day and his wife went to the funeral home to make the necessary arrangements. The funeral home director asked her if there's anything she thinks her husband would have wished for his funeral.

"Actually there is something", she said. "We've always had this plan that one day we'll travel together to Italy and he would get one of those beautiful custom tailored black silk suits that only the best tailors from Milan can make. Since he was always busy and we never had this opportunity I'd really like to fulfill this one last thing for him." "Okay", says the director. "I have some connections. I will do my best."

The day of the funeral comes and the deceased is wearing a perfect black silk suit during the viewing. It's everything his wife could have hoped for so afterwards she goes to the funeral director and tells him how touched she was and if he could tell her how much everything is going to cost.

"Actually I am not going to charge you anything for the suit.", he says. "Sometimes things just work out in life like that. Shortly after we spoke last time before the funeral another woman who lost her husband came in. Her husband was the exact same age and build as your husband, and he was wearing a black silk suit just as you described. I asked his wife what he would have liked to be dressed in for the ceremony but she said that he wasn't particular about clothes and she brought in a few of his other suits in various colors so I can better match it with the casket and the rest of the ceremony. So for me it really was no trouble at all! Since her husband was already dressed in the suit that your husband would have wanted I just swapped their heads."


 

  

I was with a funeral director, planning my final arrangements. He asked me if I wanted to have a family viewing prior to the services.

I told him "Remains to be seen."
 
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“The total cost would be $5000,” said the funeral director, “and that includes digging of the grave.”

Me: Is that the whole thing?

Him: Yes, that’s the hole thing.
             
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4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
 
 

 
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Cruisin Paul