Merry Christmas

 

 

Christmas is near and we are almost finished the year. Can you believe it, 2022 is near the end. To my blogging friends who check into my blog and write a comment to me, thank you. It means a great deal to me. We are getting older but wiser . Have a Merry Christmas to you all.

Cruisn Paul

 

This is the home where I grew up. Today a family called the Jones and they take great care of the place. At Christmas time it's the most beautiful place in town. When I was young, my father did exactly what the Jones do now. I remember helping my dad in preparation before Christmas. We use to have a Nativity Scene the size as human beings. One tree that is no longer there my dad placed at the top of the tree he had a star. We loved to prepare the home for Christmas and as you can see, so do the Jones.

                    Merry Christmas to all.

                          Thank you to all.

 

A Week Before Christmas

Ho, Ho, Ho. Merry Christmas to you all. I put my Camero in the garage until April. As I said before, my Camero has never had any snow and don't plan on any this year. It has started to snow so my car is in the garage

We are going this morning to watch Cole play hockey. He has improved so much this year.

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  Why does Santa land on the roof?

           Because he likes it on the top. 

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Why is Santa always so jolly?

           Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. 

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Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?

             Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

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Why are Christmas trees better than men?

          Even the small ones give satisfaction.

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Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable.

“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”

She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”

The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”

Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”

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Cruisin Paul

 

Christmas Tree Is Up.

Merry Christmas to all and this will continue for three more weeks. I love this time of the year.

This is our decorated table across from our dinner table. Next is my Christmas tree.

 As will noticed there are no presents under the tree. My wife told me that I would have wait until Santa comes. 

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The Story of How The Angel Went on Top of The Christmas Tree

Santa was having a terrible day. The toy factory was broken. Elves weren’t working. Mrs Claus was bugging him about something. He was having to manually make toys out of wood. He was over it. And just as he was hanging on to his lead shred of sanity, he smashed his thumb with a hammer.
And just at that moment, an angel appeared at his door, holding a Christmas Tree. She said, “Santa, where should I put this?”

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What does a man who's had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

                     " Decorative Balls " 

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What do you call a vibrator on a Christmas tree?

                         " A pornament "

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What's similar between boobs and Christmas trees ?

" When you see really nice ones, you can't yell if they're real or fake. "

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A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.

When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.


She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

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Cruisin Paul

 

 

It's Christmas Time.

It's been some time writing my blog. I thought since I only had two people commenting I would do other things but now that Christmas is my heart and my entire home is decorated, I ready to go. Also last Saturday Amherstburg had their parade and my granddaughter Emily was on the parade.Here she is.

 This is the picture that showed my mother years ago when she was Season's building during a party when she was with Santa Claus. She's no longer with us but we wish she was.

 

We are so proud of Emily and here horse Pepsi. Yes, that's the name of her horse.

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One Christmas Eve, Santa was under a lot of stress.

He and Mrs. Claus had just had a fight, it was nearly time to leave and his sleigh wasn’t loaded, and the elves were talking about going on strike.

Then an angel walked into his office and asked, “Hey, Santa, what do you want me to do with this Christmas tree?”

And so was born the tradition of there being an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

 

 

Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable.

“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”

She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”

The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”

Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”

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Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?

Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

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Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

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Cruisin Paul

 

Winter Snow.

Winter is upon us. The football game in Buffalo between the Buffalo  & Clevelend had to be changed to Detroit because Buffalo had over 5 feet of snow. Here, we had nothing. My Christmas tree is up and decorated. All the rest is ready to go after I come back from town. I have to go to the Pharmacy, Romano's & get my shot. 

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A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her dad's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue following if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to the K-mart next.

 

 

 

What's the difference between snowmen & snow-women?

                                    Snowballs 

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What did Snow White complain after staying for a month with Dwarves?

 

" I'd rather  have a 7 inch one time than have one inch 7 times." 

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 How is sex like snow?

 

Everyone talks about it, but it doesn't always happen. Then when it does happen, you're never sure how long it will last or how many inches you're going to get. 

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Why do native American hate snow?

 

It's white and all over their land. 

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Cruisin Paul

 

 

It's So Cold.

Brrrrr. It's so cold now. It's amazing that last week it was in the 70's in November. This week it now Christmas weather, 30's and it's going to be in the teens, yes in the teens. I think I got a cold even after getting my flu shot. This week I will begin starting putting the Christmas materials out and begin with the tree. I love this time of the year. 

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A young couple got tired of the cold weather and decided to take a trip down to Florida.

But because their work schedules didn't work together, it was decided that the husband would fly down first, with the wife following the next day. When the husband arrived in Florida, he decided to send an email to his wife, but unknowingly sent it to the wrong email. Meanwhile, in a different town, a widow had just gotten back from her husband's funeral, and decided to check her email. It said, "Hello dear, just checking in. I am looking forward to your arrival here tomorrow. Love, your husband." P.S. "It sure is hot down here!"

 

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   " Pack your bags, honey" a man says to his wife, " I've just won the lottery "

" Oh, how exciting " she says, " Should I pack for cold weather or hot weather"?

" I don't give a shit, as long as you're out of here by this evening. "

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Bra Inventor

A scientist has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jigging and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

 

" Women need not worry, we have killed that bastard ". 

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An Irish Travel agent gives some advice.

So there this Irish Travel Agent and he alwayss tries to get people to go to Ireland. This old woman asks him where she should go visit.....

so he starts talking about  hoe great Ireland is and the old woman says back, No, I don't like cold weather, the constant rain and I don't want see Catholics there. So the Travel Agent says to her, Well ma'am then you should go to hell, it's hot there, it never rains and there are no Catholics there."

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Cruisin Paul