Tuesday, November 29, 2022

It's Christmas Time.

It's been some time writing my blog. I thought since I only had two people commenting I would do other things but now that Christmas is my heart and my entire home is decorated, I ready to go. Also last Saturday Amherstburg had their parade and my granddaughter Emily was on the parade.Here she is.


 This is the picture that showed my mother years ago when she was Season's building during a party when she was with Santa Claus. She's no longer with us but we wish she was.


 
We are so proud of Emily and here horse Pepsi. Yes, that's the name of her horse.

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One Christmas Eve, Santa was under a lot of stress.

He and Mrs. Claus had just had a fight, it was nearly time to leave and his sleigh wasn’t loaded, and the elves were talking about going on strike.

Then an angel walked into his office and asked, “Hey, Santa, what do you want me to do with this Christmas tree?”

And so was born the tradition of there being an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

 


 

Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable.

“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”

She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”

Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”

The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”

Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”

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Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?

Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.


Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

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Cruisin Paul


 






Saturday, November 19, 2022

Winter Snow.

Winter is upon us. The football game in Buffalo between the Buffalo  & Clevelend had to be changed to Detroit because Buffalo had over 5 feet of snow. Here, we had nothing. My Christmas tree is up and decorated. All the rest is ready to go after I come back from town. I have to go to the Pharmacy, Romano's & get my shot. 

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A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her dad's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue following if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to the K-mart next.
 
 


 
What's the difference between snowmen & snow-women?
                                    Snowballs 
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What did Snow White complain after staying for a month with Dwarves?
 
" I'd rather  have a 7 inch one time than have one inch 7 times." 
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 How is sex like snow?
 
Everyone talks about it, but it doesn't always happen. Then when it does happen, you're never sure how long it will last or how many inches you're going to get. 
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Why do native American hate snow?
 
It's white and all over their land. 
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Cruisin Paul



 


 

Monday, November 14, 2022

It's So Cold.

Brrrrr. It's so cold now. It's amazing that last week it was in the 70's in November. This week it now Christmas weather, 30's and it's going to be in the teens, yes in the teens. I think I got a cold even after getting my flu shot. This week I will begin starting putting the Christmas materials out and begin with the tree. I love this time of the year. 

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A young couple got tired of the cold weather and decided to take a trip down to Florida.

But because their work schedules didn't work together, it was decided that the husband would fly down first, with the wife following the next day. When the husband arrived in Florida, he decided to send an email to his wife, but unknowingly sent it to the wrong email. Meanwhile, in a different town, a widow had just gotten back from her husband's funeral, and decided to check her email. It said, "Hello dear, just checking in. I am looking forward to your arrival here tomorrow. Love, your husband." P.S. "It sure is hot down here!"
 
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   " Pack your bags, honey" a man says to his wife, " I've just won the lottery "

" Oh, how exciting " she says, " Should I pack for cold weather or hot weather"?

" I don't give a shit, as long as you're out of here by this evening. "

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Bra Inventor

A scientist has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jigging and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

 

" Women need not worry, we have killed that bastard ". 

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An Irish Travel agent gives some advice.

So there this Irish Travel Agent and he alwayss tries to get people to go to Ireland. This old woman asks him where she should go visit.....

so he starts talking about  hoe great Ireland is and the old woman says back, No, I don't like cold weather, the constant rain and I don't want see Catholics there. So the Travel Agent says to her, Well ma'am then you should go to hell, it's hot there, it never rains and there are no Catholics there."




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Cruisin Paul





 


 

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

November Is Here!

Good evening friends. November is now here and guess what? No snow but 71 degree weather. That is weird. Yesterday I went and had a massage. So good and today I had my pedicure. My toes feel so, so nice. 

Jo Jack came and fixed my patio. It fell down from my porch and jacked it up to what it was before it fell. Good job.

Christmas is coming friends

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A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon

They are captured by a tribe of natives. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death."

After some time, the Frenchman says, "my great grandfather died by sword while fighting for France, I shall do the same to honor him."

He takes a sword and impales himself. The natives take him away, skin him, and turn him into a canoe.

The Brit says, "my father gave me his pistol on his deathbed. I shall shoot myself in honor of him."

The Brit takes the gun and shoots himself. The natives take him away, skin him, and turn him into a canoe.

Awhile later, the American asks for a fork. Confused they give him a fork and he starts stabbing himself all over.

The natives scream out, "what are you doing?!"

The American replies,

"You're not turning me into a canoe!"


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Wife has a sense of humor

I asked my wife why did she marry me.

Wife: " Because you are so funny."

Husband: " I thought it was because I was so good in bed?:

Wife: " You see? You are very hilarious ."

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                          Ah, isn't that cute.

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Cruisin Paul





Monday, October 24, 2022

Election Day Amherstburg

Good morning friends and everyone. October 24th is election day here in Amherstburg. I went on October 5th to elect a new mayor, deputy-mayor and councillors. We've had nothing but problems in our town this last year and these people are the ones who caused it so I hope that they are all kicked out with all new people.

The other day I received a phone call from the eye specialist and he said that I needed a new stronger medicine because my eye pressure was getting worse. This new med could cause me to be tired. What else could go on. Halloween is in a week. I know, I know you are getting bored with the pictures but what else can I can do? Just get use to it in another week I;ll be changing it. November is coming.

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 Q: Do Zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

A: No of course they like to eat the fingers separately.

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Q: I heard there is a skeleton in your closet?

A: No you idiot, the body hasn't decomposed yet.

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Q: How do two skeletons have sex
A: By boning all night long.

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  What's unique about sex with vampires?

 They only come at night.

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     And last but not least this picture. 


 See ya for now.

 

 

Cruisin Paul


 

 

 


Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Good morning friends. It's wet and cold around here this morning but this weekend it's suppose to in the 70's. Unfortunately we received a phone call from my cousin Carmen. He called to inform us that his mother , my aunt had passed away. She lived a long life, 96 years old. She was a wonderful woman. 

  Halloween is coming soon and to deal with Halloween I will be showing many different Halloween pumpkins to begin this I will show the pumpkins that my wife, daughter and even myself did.

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This was the pumpkin that my wife did. Pretty good isn't it?

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This was the one that my daughter did. She wanted to do a rainbow.

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And her is the one that I did. I even put one of my hats on it's head.

 Now don't think it's picture of me even though it's my hat.

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Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not want to use it right now and the user does not see it.

What is it  ::::::: A coffin

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Q: Why was the jack-o'lantern afraid to cross the road?

A: He had no guts. 

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Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?

A: Because there are so many Plots there. 

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Son: Dad..... This movie is so scary....Is that woman going to die?

Dad: Judging by the size of the horse's penis, yes she is. 

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The other night...

...I was walking home and there was this female walking in front of me. She looked behind her and then started walking faster, so I walked faster. She then looked behind her again and started to walk even faster, so I walked faster. Then she started to run so I took off running as well. She then broke out into a sprint whilst screaming at the top of her voice so I also did the same.

To this day I still don't know what we were running from but it was pretty scary.......

  


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Cruisin Paul

 Have a very scary Halloween my friends. Ha,Ha

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