Saturday, March 28, 2020

Another Saturday

Good morning my friends. I hope that you are enjoying yourself staying in your homes. I hope that this will end soon. I saw a man outside with his children and he spoke to me far from me and said , " Are you going crazy yet?" Well, are you going crazy yet?" It's shocking how people are sick and dying. That's what scaring me the most.

            ---------------------------------------


No, I'm looking for the toilet paper.


Protection and music, great.


Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine." 




A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
-
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
-
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”   




Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.



A police officer stops a minivan full of elderly ladies being driven by an old gentleman because they’re only going 25 mph, stopping the mid-day traffic.
-
The policeman asks the driver why is he going so slow.
-
“Well that’s the speed limit, isn’t it! There was a sign saying 25 and everything!” the driver defends himself.
-
The policeman sighs, “No, sir, that’s the number of the highway you’re on. It has nothing to do with the speed limit.”
-
“Oh, so that’s what it means…” says the driver, looking shocked.
-
The officer looks at the rest of the van and notices the grannies are looking somewhat frozen and stiff.
-
“What’s up with the ladies?” he asks the driver.
-
“Um…” the driver scratches his head, “you see, we just got off highway 150…”


               ------------------------------




     Be safe everyone and try not going crazy. See ya. 


Cruisin Paul

Friday, March 20, 2020

Friday Night

Good evening everyone. I'm getting better and the pills I'm taking are helping my BP. Hopefully it will continue.

I hope this will help those who are having a problem finding Toilet Paper.


HOW I FIRED MY SECRETARY:
Two weeks ago, I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me...
She didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday.
I said, well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office. Do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and then she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes, she came out... carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children.
All were singing Happy Birthday.
... and there on the couch I sat...
... with nothing on but my socks...






                      Keep Safe Friends


Cruisin Paul
 

Friday, March 6, 2020

Friday

Good morning my good friends. I'll be out for a few days. I had a few physical problems. Last Friday I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My blood pressure shot up to 220 and my nose started bleeding very bad. I haven't been feeling very good and yesterday I saw my doctor and he gave me a higher dosage of my blood pressure pills. I checked my blood pressure this morning an it was down. I plan on getting back to my blog very soon. Hang in friends, I plan to get back quickly. Until then, hang in there.

Cruisin Paul