Sunday, May 31, 2015

Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain & More Rain Sunday

It's so wet this morning even the birds and squirrels aren't even out. Good rainy Sunday morning friends. It started raining yesterday afternoon and it hasn't stopped since. In Michigan  there are flood warnings out. Over there they get all kinds of trouble. I think where I live, Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada, we get storms but not terrible storms but in Michigan you'll always see terrible pictures on the TV having tornados, floods, and whatever. I'm so happy to live where I do. 



Three unmarried men were waiting to tee off when the starter walked up to them and said, "You see that beautiful blonde practicing her putting?"

"Her? Wow, she is beautiful," they all said.

"She's a good golfer," he continued, "and would like to hook up with a group. None of the other groups will play with a wom- an. Can she play with you? She won't hold you up, I promise." They looked at each other and said, "Sure! She can join us." Just as the starter said, the woman played well and kept up. Plus, they kept noticing, she was very attractive.

When they reached the 18th hole, she said that if she sank her 18-footer, she'd break 80 for the first time. "Guys, I'm so excited about breaking 80 that I have to tell you something. I had a great time playing with you. I can tell you all really love golf. I want you to know that I'm single and want to marry a man who loves golf as much as I do. If one of you guys can read this putt correctly and I make it, I'll marry whichever of you was right!"

All three jumped at the opportunity. The first one looked over the putt and said, "I see it breaking 10 inches left to right." The second looked it over from all sides and said, "No, I see it breaking eight inches right to left."

The third man looked at the woman, looked at the ball, and said, "Pick it up. It's good!"

As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, "Honey, I've got something to confess: I'm a golf nut, and every chance I get, I'll be playing golf!"

"Since we're being honest," replies the bride, "I have to tell you that I'm a hooker."

The groom replies, "That's okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight!" 

Ten years on a deserted island

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!", he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"

And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"




Past Cruise Photos


                                                    Leaving Curacao going to next port.

    On the last night of our cruise, our steward placed this on our bed. He was thoughtful man and cared about us throughout our cruise.


Guess what? It's still raining and from what the weatherman said, it's going to continue throughout the entire day. I guess I'll be inside for the day. I've already made our dinner for today so I guess I'll just have to watch some TV. Poor me. Ha,ha,ha. 
Have an enjoyable but wet day my friends and one other thing to say...........................................

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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Sunny But Going To Rain Later Saturday

Good beautiful Saturday morning everyone. Yesterday I went a brought my daughter coffees for her & the workers that are working on the inside of her home. I was amazed of what they are doing. The entire house is gutted and the floors are cleaned out of the old material and later they will have have a brand new inside. Today I hope the new doors should be instilled. I laughed because the children's beds were in the living room until the kids rooms are painted and finished. Of course the grandchildren love the idea of sleeping in the living room. They have the TV. Ha,ha,ha. Their home will lovely when it will be done. Good for them.



One Monday morning, a mailman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approached one of the homes, Bob, a homeowner, was coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party this weekend," the mailman commented.
Bob replied, "We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over and things got a bit wild. We got so drunk that we started playing 'Who Am I?'"
"How do you play that?" the mailman asked.
Bob continued, "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our units showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughed and said, "I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responded, "Your name was guessed four or five times."

After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent him on his way with a gift envelope.
The family at the second house presented him with a selection of terrific fishing lure. At the third house, he was given a box of fine cigars.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly blonde beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. Taking him by the hand, she gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she presented him with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough, they went downstairs to the kitchen where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sausages, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of fresh roasted coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night I told my husband that today would be your final day on the job and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea." said the blonde.


The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature for a party on his route. Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door. He knocked. A high pitch voice from inside said, "Come in."

Upon entering the kitchen, he was confronted by the largest German Shepard he had ever seen. The dog bared his fangs menacingly, forcing the mail man against the wall. The mail man shouted, "Lady, call off you dog before he eats me alive."

The only response he got was that same high pitch voice coming from the next room saying, "Come in."

Pressing his body against the wall, he slowly worked his way to the door way leading to the next room. Looking around, he saw the room was empty, except for a parrot in a cage. After the threat from the huge dog, he was becoming quite irate and said to the parrot.

"Darn you, don't you know any words besides 'Come in?"

Without a moments hesitation the parrot responded, "Sic him!"
Past Cruise Photos


                                                       Tortola, the British Virgin Islands


Now that I've completed my post, the sun has disappeared. I guess the clouds are coming in which means the rain is near. Oh well. I saw the sun this morning. Have a wonderful day and...........
                                                                         SEE YA.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Wonderful Brilliant, Sunny Friday

Swinging Friday everyone. I was I could dance just like my dancing kittens. My day began with a wonderful call from my wonderful friend from Florida, Bee. I wish I could cruise as much as she does but unfortunately I live in Canada and there aren't to many cruise ships docked in Amherstburg. To get to any cruise ship, I would always have to fly and That is the problem. Flying cost to darn much. The cruise isn't the problem, it's the tickets to fly. That's why we can only cruise once a year. Oh well. That's life.



Wife's Birthday'Today is my wife's birthday,' announces Archie to his mate, Bert.
'What are you getting for her?' enquires Bert.
'Make me an offer!' responds Archie with a grin.

Lucky Escape?

A husband took his wife to a disco.  There was a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turned to her husband and said, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband said: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

Funny Husband

'Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband.'
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, email, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Men  jokes
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…"!!!!




Past Cruise Photos

                                                   The Old Fort in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

                    The back pool for adults on the Carnival Breeze. It also has a bar for enjoyment.


OK, were done for the day. I hope that you've enjoyed my blog. Take a break and leave me a comment on how you enjoyed it. Have a wonderful Friday.

                                                                          SEE YA !

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Beautiful, Sunny, Warm & Breezy Thursday

Wow, what a morning. I woke up at 6:00 am this morning and I decided to get up. I feel really good getting up this ttime in the morning. Later I have to go for a blood test. Hopefully the last one and after I'm going to visit Uncle Rocco & Aunt Chris and bring some coffee to them. He's my father's brother and the last member of my grandfather's children. Uncle Rocco is 86 years of age and even I didn't know that. I thought he was younger then that. He looks pretty good for his age though.  After getting home I won't being staying longer because I'm going for lunch with cousin Dan. Last week I was happy to see Dan and his brother Tony.



This 55- year- old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed, laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous; what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got the results of my annual physical and my doctor said I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 55-year-old ass?" She says, "Your name never came up!"

Who's the Boss?

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks."
The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."
The legs declared, "I should be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."
So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."
He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him.
"You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"
The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore.
"Ok, ok, you're the boss!" They gave in. So the asshole became the boss of the body.
The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

 After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'"



Past Cruise Photos

                      Trip to Aruba and an excursion underwater. At least we saw some fish.

                                 Just having a cup of coffee on the Carnival Miracle.


You know, I like getting up earlier in the morning. I feel alive this morning. It's not that I didn't feel alive those other morning but, you know what I mean. Have a fantastic day everyone.

                                                                                SEE YA!