Though cool this morning, the sun is out with a bright hello. Mary Lou is taking AmyLynn to Windsor late this morning to spend some money and enjoy a lunch together. Of course when they get home, their dinner will be prepared by me. Today is going to be a slow day for me but quiet. Ha,ha,ha.
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Wednesday's Funnies
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair. “I m goin to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I ll be back in a few minutes.” When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.” “That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, Come on, son, we re gonna get a free haircut! ‘
The Sunday School teacher asked if any of the children’s parents had quoted from the Bible in the past week. Little Timmy paused, but then spoke up, “My daddy doesn’t have any hair on his head. Daddy says that God put hair on everything that he was ashamed of.”
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, “Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.” She replied, “I m married and my husband wouldn’t like that. The cowboy said, “Tell him your working overtime and I ll pay you the difference.” She said, “You tell him. He is the one shaving you.”
A
golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the
golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one fourth of your sex life?" Thinking that the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay," and makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one fourth of your sex life?" Thinking that the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay," and makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
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Wednesday's Poetry
I loved the Father O'Malley joke. Bwahahahahahahahaha. I didn't see that coming.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the beautiful sunshine.
Have a nice quiet day and what's for dinner? ☺
Paul, I love the wig on the bald eagle, it made me laugh, and I love the cat in your first image. Great post, as always, thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWell we got ..yes you guessed it chilly and rain here LOL..."rollls eyes"
ReplyDeleteLOL @ jokes especially the golfers comp joke and the cartoon about sex :-)
Have a takeingiteasytastic day Paul (blimey that was a mouthful)
Cute jokes, especially the shaving one! Haha
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...