Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Beautiful Sunny Tuesday

Good morning everyone. Last night I took my wife out to dinner at the " KEG " and I had a wonderful steak dinner and Mary Lou had ribs. After we arrived home we sat out in our deck under the gazebo. It was warm but breezy and that helped without the mosquitoes. It was a beautiful anniversary.
Today she's gone to have her hair done, not me. Mine is OK. Ha,ha,ha.



Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain."
"Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."

- Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.  That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.

If you answer the door before someone knocks on it, you may be drinking too much coffee.

People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning... I reply - No, I just bring her some coffee!!! 

"I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning," prescribed the doctor.
"You gotta be kidding, doc," I've been doing that for years, but my wife calls it coffee".

Men are like ... coffee.
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.

I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said why don't you quit drinking coffee.
He said, "Because if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."

This guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: "How much is the coffee?"
"Coffee is three dollars the waitress said".
"How much is a refill?" the man asked.
"Free"!!!!! said the waitress.
"Then I'll take a refill"!!!! 

The 23rd Cup
Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures;
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz.
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I'll fear no Equal for thou art with me;
Thy cream and thy flavorings they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez.
Thou anointest my days with vigor; my mug runneth over.
Surely flavor and aroma shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of Maxwell forever.

Viagra Coffee
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."  



Past Cruise Photos

                                              We are docked in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.

                                                                    Ocho Rios, Jamaica


I'm done for the day. I'm glad that I'm having friends commenting on my blog. It's worth all the effort of creating the blog. You are the cream in my coffee every day and after this post, you either will love or hate coffee. I'm going to have my second cup right after my done.

                                                                               SEE YA.


  1. I'm glad you had a wonderful anniversary yesterday. I knew you would.

    Bwahahahahaha on the McDonald's joke. That cracked me up.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. I'm off to get my coffee. ☺

  2. Glad you had a nice dinner :-)

    I been reading the jokes and laughing LOL @ viagra

    That photo in Jamaica is lovely and that wonderful blue :-)

    Have a tanfastic day Paul and thanks for cruising by :-)

  3. Paul, I am so happy your Anniversary was a happy one. Love the jokes, thank you so much for sharing. :)

  4. Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!

    Man, I should have read this one this morning. I could have gotten a coffee high just reading it.

  5. I am also getting mugged at the moment! Happy, happy anniversary...and many more!!!

    Big hugs, honey...

  6. Paul, Happy Anniversary to you and your wife. Great coffee and viagra jokes! Greater still the photos of Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Lovely place.


Thanks for commenting!