It's Spring and next week it will be in the high 70's and low 80's. It's about time. I'll be able to bring our cars into the garage because the driveway will be OK for us to drive on it.
Now I want to do the sidewalk and the shed pad so that I can buy my shed. We still have some problems around our home. Yes, it's a new home but this builder had many bad people who didn't know what the hell they were doing and now we have deal with these stupid problems.
My friend Gerry had golfed for the first time but then our premier decided to have a LOCKDOWN. So for Gerry I'm doing this blog for him and others.
Mark of respect
Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.
“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.”
“Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to her for 35 years.”
The right club?
A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated.
On the 11th, his ball lay about 160 yards from the green and as he eyed up the shot, he asked his caddie, “Do you think I can get there with a 4-iron?”
“Eventually,” replied the caddie, wearily.
The married couple
As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, “Honey, I’ve got something to confess: I’m a golf nut, and every chance I get, I’ll be playing golf!”
“Since we’re being honest,” replies the bride, “I have to tell you that I’m a hooker.”
The groom replies, “That’s okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight.”
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?’
‘I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.’
Getting the right result
“You’re late on the tee, John.”
“Yes, well being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or go and play golf.”
“Okay, but why are you so late?”
“I had to toss it 15 times!”
What a swing.
And finally, a classic…
Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?
In case theyget a hole in one.