Friday, December 8, 2017

Cold, Snowy Friday

Good morning everyone. I've decided to continue with my type of blog having some laughter in it. I may not have has much as I had before but I need that laughter myself. I'll be adding at times , things about cruising or cruising ships. I hope that those of you who do check in with me will still enjoy it.
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                              Naughty Santa


What A Boy Wants For ChristmasFunny Adult Christmas Jokes

David remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Macy's one Christmas Eve.
Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right.  In that case I'll take two.'



What A Girl Wants For Christmas

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'
'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'




 I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing.




Entering  Heaven
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes  Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's."



A Sign of the Times

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

 

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That will be about it for today.

  " SEE YA "

 

" Cruisin Paul " 


13 comments:

  1. Loved it all, but the kitty is the best. I linked this post to Feline Friday. Now the dressed up kitty can knock over the tree.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul. ☺

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    1. Thanks Sandee. That poor kitty. It must upset with having that stuff on.

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  2. Haha! loved all the jokes Pauleo and the cat pics and quotes

    It's very cold here too Pauleo I hope you didn't send it here to punish me LOL

    Have a snowylicious weekend ;-)

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    1. No way my friend. Why would I want punish you. I'm being punished myself with this cold.

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  3. Heeheehee! My cats knocked over trees, no dressing up needed. We had a snowy Friday here in the swamps, too, and it makes me wonder how you do it.

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    1. Hee,hee,hee. I had no idea that I had much power to send snow to the swamps. Sorry Mimi.

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  4. Love the "lady" snowman. I'm wondering why no one actually makes them like that.

    Hope you are enjoying the holiday season.

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    1. With the problems dealing with men & women in the states, a snow woman is all that we need. ha,ha,ha.

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  5. Hi Paul, I enjoy all your jokes. I suppose Santa can be naughty too. My favourite is the little so horrible that Santa didn't receive her email! Have a beautiful weekend!

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    1. Thanks Nancy. I think poor Santa needed some loving too. Ha,ha,ha.

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  6. Great holiday humour. I like both Santa Claus cartoons. I am wishing you good foreign conversion rates for the new year.

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    1. Thank Rhonda, I'll need it if Trump doesn't work with Canada in NAFTA.

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Thanks for commenting!