Saturday, October 6, 2018

Rainy, Dull Saturday






This port is Grenada, a place I've never been to but home to get there in the future.

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Concerned Husband

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things." "Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness". Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"



Finding a House

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street. Stopping her, they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser and one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived. All she would say as she stroked the officers arm is, "Your Passionate" They drove awhile longer and asked again. Again the same response as she stroked his arm "Your Passionate". The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live." She replied, "I keep trying to tell you: Your Passin It!"





 Priceless Humor:
Lost Chapter In Genesis

Adam had been moping around all day in the Garden of Eden and God finally said, "Adam, what's up with all this moping?"
Adam told God that he was lonely. God said He could fix that, no problem.
In short order he could make a partner for Adam, and she would be called a "woman."
God told Adam that the woman would collect his food, cook it for him, and care for all his needs and wants. She would also agree with all his decisions and not question his authority as head of the family.
God also said that she would bear his offspring and and not bother him in the middle of the night if the kids woke up and started crying.
She would never nag him and would admit when she was wrong. She would also freely give him love and passion whenever he needed it.
Adam said, "Wow, that's a great partner! What is this woman-person going to cost me?"
And God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Adam thought for a minute, then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history.



Priceless Humor: Hunting Flies

A woman entered her kitchen and found her boyfriend waving a fly swatter.
"What in heaven's name are you up to?" she asked.
"Killing flies," he said.
"Oh. Get any?"
"Yep, two males, three females," he answered.
"Oh come on! How do you tell them apart?"
"Two were on a beer can, three were on the phone."



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Well that's about it for today. The pain is now getting worse so I'm going to take the meds tht they gave me. Oh did I tell you that they are giving me morphine. 

 " Seeeeeee Yaaaaaaaa "



Cruisin Paul                                                          
 







6 comments:

  1. Paul, i am so glad it's not your heart and yet so sorry you broke or cracked bones! It's way no fun, and it's awful to have to quit golfing for the season.

    Yet here you are trying to make everyone laugh, and i will pray for quick healing.

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    1. Thank you Mimi. I will suffer for a short time but I'm still alive and can still laugh but not for a while.

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  2. Oh no well at least it isn't any heart problem but you need to rest Pauleo otherwise it will take twice as long to heal so you need to put your balls down :-)

    I enjoyed the jokes Pauleo all on topic I see LOL

    Have a restful weekend and hope your pain subsides quickly :-)

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    Replies
    1. Ha,ha,ha my friend. Yes you are right Steveo, I'll be putting my balls down until next year. I'm laughing in my pain right now.

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  3. Good to know that your heart is ok. Time to rest more and hope the medication will do its work to remove the pain. Take care and have a good rest.

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    Replies
    1. The pain has slowed down a little but if I turn quickly, ouch, ouch. I'm slowing down a bit and thanks Nancy.

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Thanks for commenting!