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One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!"
An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot.
"Lord,"he prayed,"I can't stand this.If you open a space up for me,I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."
Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said,"Never mind,I found one."
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go on a trip right now."
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That' it for today. I hope that you all have a wonderful Thursday.
" SEE YA "
" Cruisin Paul "
It has been a week since you posted. I just thought you were having a good time. I hope you were.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your jokes. Looks like today it's mostly about drinking. Loved the parking lot on the very best.
Have a fabulous day, Paul. ☺
Oh ya Sandee, I was having a tremendous time like doing nothing. Ha,ha,ha.
DeleteThanks for checking on my blog my friend.
I wish I had someone to blame for changes on my bathroom scales. LOL
ReplyDeleteGoogle 'how to download music to a Nano Ipod.' You'll have to get an account at Apple where you can go to listen to stuff you might like to buy. I have a nano Ipod and I really like it. I just bought an armband for it so it's safer against losing it at the gym. You can get screen savers and accessories for it at Amazon. I got the better earplugs that have the volume control in the line which was worth the money, so much easier, at least for me.
Thanks for the help Jean. I bought a Sony noise canceling headphones reduce unwanted ambient noise and provide environment to enhance my listening experience.
DeleteAn IPod Nano! Good for you, i think you will enjoy it once you download the music onto it.
ReplyDeleteThat husband is going to be in the doghouse after a stunt like that!
It arrived Friday and I'm shocked how tiny it is. I'll have to wait until my daughter comes over to help with me with it.
DeleteHa ha! That a naughty and cheeky husband! I like the parking lot one too!
ReplyDeleteI love that husband also.
DeleteI had to check my calendar; the page background is green and the jokes have a definite Irish flavour. I really like the photo of the woman on the scale.
ReplyDeleteAre you Irish Rhonda? Ha,ha,ha.
DeleteI am sure your daughter will help you Pauleo they are quite restricted so you have to install iTunes (if you haven't already got it on your PC) to get stuff on and off it.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ the jokes I break wind without having anything pulled lmao
That poor woman weighing herself LOL
Have a tanfastic Thursday oops! I meant Saturday Pauleo and hope you get your nano sorted in nano seconds :-)
I'm looking forward to using my Nano. I'm sure glad you remembered that Saturday is not Thursday. Next time I'll do my blog on Saturday just for you Steveo. Ha,ha,ha. See ya
ReplyDelete