A rabbi and a priest wanted to go for a swim at the beach, but did not have bathing suits with them...
The priest turns to the rabbi and says
"why don't we just swim naked, there's no one around, and we'll keep it
between ourselves".
The rabbi sees no problem with the idea, and agrees.
Once naked, the rabbi and the priest start walking towards the water, when suddenly out of nowhere seemingly a group of children appear on the beach.
The priest quickly takes his hands and covers his penis, while the rabbi uses his hands to cover his face.
Later,
the priest turns to the rabbi and asks "why did you cover your face and
not your penis when those kids showed up on the beach?"
The rabbi responds "father, I don't know about you, but my congregation knows me by my face".
Ouch!
Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it
with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.
"Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy
swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years
outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about
two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm
tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"The following
weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and
his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he
walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!
So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong
now?" "Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would
make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify
them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some
really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist"
garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine
and the scenery.
Presently, a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare.
As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: "Good morning
father, good morning father." Nodding and addressing each of them
individually.
They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?
They went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits and
again they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine,
etc.
After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini
this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had
sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads).
Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "good morning father", "good morning father" and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "just a minute young
lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in
the world did YOU know?"
"Oh father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Kathryn!"
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All I Can Say Is, " Keep Safe "
Cruisin Paul
