Hey, it's a beautiful day everyone. Last week was a downer but this week, Spring has really sprung. MaryLou cut her grass yesterday. She couldn't wait. This man Allen began fixing my fence and me, I just enjoyed watching them because the Masters is on. By the way for those who don't know what the Masters is, it's one of the four large golfing matches.
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me.'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me.'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my granddaughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground. You don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?
“You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly, "All Grandmas know this stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"Oh...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa."
"Exactly," I replied.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my granddaughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground. You don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?
“You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly, "All Grandmas know this stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"Oh...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa."
"Exactly," I replied.
( Don't forget, I am a grandfather )
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Well that's about it for now my friends.Enjoy your Sunday.
" See ya "
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Cruisin Paul
Who won or will win the Masters?
ReplyDeleteLove the jokes today, especially the first one of the old widow at the funeral home. I may "borrow" the one with the woman on the scales for an upcoming blog.
I won't know who won until and today butI'll be watching. See ya.
DeleteI love the baby and the doctor picture, so, so cute!
ReplyDeleteI placed the baby first just for that. I'm gla that you liked it Nancy. See ya.
DeleteI'm glad you're finally having spring. It's about to get warmer here. We just had a big storm come through. Wettest winter in years, but we needed the rain.
ReplyDeleteI loved all the jokes as always. I linked you to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day, my friend. ☺
Yes Sandee, I'm looking forward to Spring and getting back to golfing but not until May. See ya.
ReplyDeletePraying you have a blessed and beautiful day, and a beautiful week, too!
ReplyDeleteGood to see spring has finally sprung where you are :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL @ still have his driving license and the investigator haha!
Have a springtastic day Pauleo and hope you enjoyed the Masters :-)