Cloudy, Wet Friday

Good morning good friends. It rained last night but at the moment it's nice outside. I received a phone call from St. Michael's Hospital and I have to go there for some testing. They have found that I have some problems that occurred from my stroke years ago and the lady said that I have 3 out of the 4 serious problems. They want me to be checked and see if I need any medication to assist me. She said that I may have problems like bloody noses ( which I had twice a couple day ) that could create another stroke in the future. My wife and I are going my train, staying in a hotel for two days and hopefully back home with a clear check up or at least medication that will assist me. Oh well, that's life. 

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Guy Takes the Bathtub Test for Mental Health

During a visit to the mental asylum, Guy asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said Guy. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. (Pause.)
... Guy, do you want a bed near the window?'

 

 

Testing Patient

Dr. Marley, the head psychiatrist at Front Lawn Asylum, is examining patients to see if they're recovered and ready to re-enter society.
'So, Mr Lewis,' the doctor says to one of his patients, 'I see from your chart that you've been recommended for discharge. Do you have any idea what you might do once you leave here?'
Henry Lewis thinks for a moment, then replies, 'Well, I went to a college for telecommunications. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go to evening school and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately.'
Dr. Marley nods, looks pleased and says, 'Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.'
So Henry Lewis replies, 'And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a coffee pot.'

Group Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with young mothers.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with
eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money.
It manifests itself in your children's names, Penny, Goldie and Frank (German father)."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children's names: Brandy and Sherry. You even called the cat, "Whisky".
He then turned to the fourth Mum June: "Your obsession is with flowers.
Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
Write your own endingAt this point you can either leave the story here, and just see if these patterns fit any of your friends, or else you can write a rude ending.

( I think you very smart people can really think of a very rude answer, can't you? Ha,ha,ha. )

 

Better relationship

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

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Well that's it for the day.

  

" SEE YA "

  

" Cruisin Paul "