Saturday, June 30, 2018

Hot, Hot, Hot, O Lay O Lay, O lay, O lay

Hot, hot hot. Well we are in a very hot time of the year.Yesterday I golfed and it was hot but starting today and until the end of the week we are planning to have temperatures going from in the 90's close to 100. Ouch!
My brother-in-law Jim Maitland, was in the Toronto Hospital and the doctors had no idea what was causing his bleeding. Finally the operated and found that he had small tear in his artery in his colon. Thank God, they fixed it up and Jim is on his way to get better. My cousin Tony has had one chemo and three more to go. He told me that it won't get rid of the cancer but hopefully slow it down.
As I said I went golfing Friday and it was with my friend Gerry. It was his first golf game since he had his open heart surgery. He looks good, he play wonderful and thanks to my 5 golf lessons, even I was playing great, well OK. LOL
At the moment Mary Lou is out cutting the lawn and later I have to pick up Cole and bring him home. 

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How Old Are You?
4 year old David is having tea at his grandma’s. After he finishes his smoked salmon bagel and almond Danish, he goes over to her and asks, "Granny how old are you?"
With a smile on her face, his granny replies, "I’m 42, darling - and holding."
David thinks about this reply for a moment, then asks, "And how old would you be, granny, if you let go?"

 
Same Size As …
A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased.
He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Queen Size".
He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed,
"Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our bed!"


Partial Deck

A girl comes home from school and tells her grandma that a boy at has asked her out for a date. This being her first date, her grandma gives her some rules. "If he tries to come near you or hug you, its fine. If he tries to kiss you, well thats fine too. But if he tries to lay you down and get on top of you, just push him and get out of there." The innocent girl was confused and asked, "Why grandma?" Grandma replied, "Because then he will disgrace our family." The girl having learned the lesson goes on her date. When she returns, her grandma asked her what happened. She replied, "Everything went well. First he hugged me, then kissed me. But then he tried to lay me down. So instead I got on top of him and disgraced his family."



Grandma's New Sticker

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two grand kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign.
So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.

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Well, that's it for today. I hope that all of you will have a great day and if it's hot. hot, hot, get where it's cool, cool, cool. 

                               " SEE YA "


Cruisin Paul
                                             and Mary Lou


Saturday, June 23, 2018

Rain, Rain Go Away Saturday

Good morning everyone. We are suppose to have rain throughout the weekend. I hope not because we have to finally put together our new Gazebo. Yes, new. We couldn't find a new covering for the old one and as we took the old one off , it had rusted so bad that if we hadn't taken it off, it would just had fallen apart so Mary Lou went to Lowes and bought a new better one. On Thursday our son - in - law, Joe came t put it together. He started it but it rained so he had to stop until the weekend. 
Mary Lou received a phone from her oldest sister this morning. Their brother was back in the hospital. He had had colon cancer and he had been so good for years but he suddenly started passing blood so he's back in Toronto. My cousin, my brother - in - law and my friend Al with Parkinson. I'm worried that I will get something to happen to me. 
In a more happy note, my neighbor Ron called me up and we are going golfing on Wednesday. My neighbors are good people.
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A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain. The myth of the mountain was that if you jumped off of it and yelled out what you wanted to be, you would instantly turn into it.

The brunette jumped off and said she wanted to be an Eagle, so she turned into an Eagle and flew away.

Next, the redhead jumped off and said she wanted to be a cat. So, she landed on all fours and walked away.

Then the blonde got a running start, tripped over a rock, and yelled... "CRAP!" 



A blonde and a redhead were watching the 6:00 news when a story came up about a man who was threatening to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead that the man wouldn't jump off the bridge and the readhead accepted.

Well, sure enough, the man jumped and so the blonde gave the redhead the 50 bucks. "I can't take this, you're my best friend."

The blonde looked at her, "Just take it."

"Well, I saw this on the 5;00 news, so I knew he was gonna jump off."

The blonde laughed, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again  




Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again, for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"
The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?" 


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That's it for me today. As of now, the sun is out and because it's out that means that there will be rain. I guess it rained during the night. I always have a good nights sleep with the window open. I enjoy the sounds of the night. Cars going by, train horns over the river in Michigan, birds early in the morning around 4:00am. Yes I'm up going to the washroom. At least three times. I guess that's what you get being a man as you get older.

                                " SEE YA "

Cruisin Paul

Monday, June 18, 2018

Over 90 degrees Monday (Hot )

Good morning friends. Yesterday it was in the 90's and today they say it will be close to 100 degrees. My AC kept stopping throughout the day. Thank God it didn't go out period. Now today I'm worried. 
I had another golf lesson on Friday. I needed some help with my driver and the woods. Matt Brode, the PGA professional helped me before and I have improved with my irons so I thought he could help me with my woods. He also gave some exercises to assist me to loosen my body before I go golfing. I can't wait to go golfing.
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Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!" 



Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."  



During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!" 



 Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "The United States."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "My whole body."



                      ___________________
 Well that will be it for now. Stay cool my blogging friends. I will try.


                                  " SEE YA "

Cruisin Paul

       

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Bright Thursday Morning

What a beautiful morning here in Amherstburg, Ontario, CANADA, the country that has been attacked by the bully and his idiots. Can you believe that the president of the US is attacking Canada and Peter Navarro says ' there's a special place in hell ' for Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada. I would have never thought that this would ever happen. I pray that hopefully things will change.
Today I'm going to show you the flowers and bushes that I have around my home, front and back. I hope that you'll enjoy it and I might even have a joke or two at the end.

I will begin with the front of my home.
 Sorry for leaving the garage door open.





I don't know the names of the many different flowers. I just know that I love them and that they are beautiful.

Next an area that I plan on change a few things. I'm going to split these flowers in two. I want the entire circle with these flowers.

Mary Lou went to get these flowers and planted them. They haven't filled up yet but they still look good. The tree hasn't filled with their flower yet. They will fill with purple flowers 

I want to show you the front of the home and the work that my wife does for our home. She does all the trimming since I'm not able to do it. Mary Lou is great.


Next is the side of the garage. We chose some flowers and last year they didn't show as much but this year, some of the flowers are out.

Here are the ones that are out.




To end the front I want to show you this.
 This is my large Blue Spruce.

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Now to the back of my yard. A few years ago I had a beautiful tree that gave us shade but it suddenly lost all of it's leaves. Unfortunately it died so I had the tree cut down but in it place is this.


My wife loves roses and so do I so we planted many different roses. Some have come out great while some just grew but they still look good. Here they are.





These three roses have just begun and I hope that in the future they will give us many blooms.

Next I have the flowers that we have on our deck. Today my wife & daughter are going to put on the gazebo if Nicole ever shows up. Ha,ha,ha.


The flowers and one little tree that I bought this year and during the winter I have to take the little tree inside the house.



And now my little tree with yellow flowers.

Well that's about it. Since I took more time that I thought, I won't put any jokes today. The next time. 

                                " SEE YA "


Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou