Thursday, April 11, 2019

Weird Thursday

What a weird morning we're having. This is April 11 and the weatherman said that even though the temp the other day was 75 degrees, they said we could have snow. Are they nuts?
My wife is resting after having her little operation on her knee. AmyLynn and I are doing the work around the house. Today I'll be going for lunch with Dan and before I leave MacDonald's, I'll be getting her a coffee that I always bring home a coffee for Mary Lou. 
My friend Al, though not doing well. has flown to Vancouver, British Columbia for his daughter's wedding. I hope he enjoys this very special thing in their lives.


  This prisoner is going to be caught in a lot of doo doo.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.  The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... Only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday." On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? " "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison... '"

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."


                                " See Ya my friends. "

Cruisin Paul


  1. Hey I got to your blog post first try today!! Yipee.
    I hope Mary Lou is up on her feet soon! Be a good nurse Paul.

    1. Thank goodness that you are back with me. Happy day Peg. Yes, AmyLynn & I will be wonderful nurses.

  2. I too hope Mary Lou does well. Rehab is next I'm guessing? Usually the case.

    Yes the weather can't make up its mind what it wants to do. It's pretty bad when you have four seasons in two days or less.

    Loved all the jokes.

    Won't be around much for the next few days. We're cruising with our yacht club this weekend and there's lots of work to do.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend, Paul. My best to Mary Lou. 😎

    1. Well have a great cruising time Sandee. Enjoy your Yacht club.

  3. Praying Mary Lou heals right up.

    Until the weather can settle into spring patterns, i guess you carry an umbrella and coat with you all the time.

    Thanks for the funnies!

    1. Thanks for your help Mimi. I hate taking an umbrella. LOL

  4. Hope Mary Lou have a speedy recovery. These days, the weather is very unpredictable.

  5. I send my wishes to Mary Lou for a speedy recovery. I like the pharmacist joke.

  6. I thought that joke was interesting also Rhonda. See ya.

  7. Oh I hope Mary Lou is recovering well from her op, sounds like she has somegreat support till then :-)

    I laughed at all the jokes Pauleo LOL

    PS: Sorry I am a bit late I have had a few hospital appointments all near each other

    I hope this attempt at commenting works this time

    Have a jailfreetastic weekend Pauleo :-)

    1. It seems that you and I are needing help from the health assistance. I hope you are feeling better Steveo. Take care.

  8. Hope your wife is healing well. Make sure you don't do too good of a job taking care of the house or it will become your permanent job! LOL

    Take care Paul

    1. Thanks Tim but my daughter is doing most of the help.


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