Good evening who ever is on my blog. Good to see ya. For some reason my TV has gone haywire after my wife had a problem with her washer & dryer. After lunch I turned my TV on and I couldn't turned the TV on yet it went on and suddenly changed to Netflick without me even change it. The only way to turn it off was to unplug it. Since we have moved to this place, crazy things have occurred. My daughter says that we have a ghost in our place.
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The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
He was so happy that he entered it in another race, and it won again. The local paper headline read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The paper posted the headline: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The paper posted the headline: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The pastor's first mass
The young pastor was so nervous before
his first mass that he could not speak a word. He asks the bishop for
advice, and he tells him to pour two drops of vodka in a glass of water
and drink it.
The young pastor does as advised and immediately felt so good that nothing could stop him.
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After the Mass, he finds the bishop's message:
“Next time, pour two drops of vodka in the water and not the other way around.
In addition, here are some tips to prevent outages like these from happening again:
- it is not necessary to place slices of lemon on the wine glass,
- DO NOT lean on the statue of the Virgin Mary, do not hug and kiss her,
- there are 10 and not 12 commandments,
- there are 12 apostles and not 7 and none of them is a Dwarf,
- We do not call Jesus and his disciples J.C. & Co.,
- David defeated Goliath with a slingshot and a stone, he did not destroy it like a trash can,
- We don't call Jews sons of bitches,
- the Pope must not be called El Padrino,
- Bin Laden has nothing to do with the death of Jesus,
- the holy bread is not a wine snack
- sinners go to hell and not to mothers vagina,
- the one in the corner, next to the choir you called the transvestite in the dress, and it was me! "
The young pastor does as advised and immediately felt so good that nothing could stop him.
<br>
After the Mass, he finds the bishop's message:
“Next time, pour two drops of vodka in the water and not the other way around.
In addition, here are some tips to prevent outages like these from happening again:
- it is not necessary to place slices of lemon on the wine glass,
- DO NOT lean on the statue of the Virgin Mary, do not hug and kiss her,
- there are 10 and not 12 commandments,
- there are 12 apostles and not 7 and none of them is a Dwarf,
- We do not call Jesus and his disciples J.C. & Co.,
- David defeated Goliath with a slingshot and a stone, he did not destroy it like a trash can,
- We don't call Jews sons of bitches,
- the Pope must not be called El Padrino,
- Bin Laden has nothing to do with the death of Jesus,
- the holy bread is not a wine snack
- sinners go to hell and not to mothers vagina,
- the one in the corner, next to the choir you called the transvestite in the dress, and it was me! "
A pastor and his wife are standing in line at the pearly gates of heaven.
They watch as A couple in front of them
walks up to St. Peter. They request entry but St. Peter shakes his
head and says to the husband, "I'm sorry but you loved money so much you
married a woman named Penny. You can't enter." They hung their heads
and walked away.
Another couple approached and St. Peter shook his head and said to the husband, "I'm sorry but you loved drink so much you married a woman named Sherry. You can't enter." The couple hung their heads and walked away.
The husband of the couple watching this turned to his wife and said, "Alright Fanny let's get outta here."
Another couple approached and St. Peter shook his head and said to the husband, "I'm sorry but you loved drink so much you married a woman named Sherry. You can't enter." The couple hung their heads and walked away.
The husband of the couple watching this turned to his wife and said, "Alright Fanny let's get outta here."
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Cruisin Paul
Thanks for the laughs, i pray you are all doing well in your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mimi and I pray for you also because of the ice & cold.
DeleteI hope you had the problem with your TV sorted out. Thanks for the pastors' jokes.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter AmyLynn helped me and I'm back to normal with my TV. She's better then me when it comes to electronics.
ReplyDeleteBeware Pauleo Netflix is taking over your house LOL
ReplyDeleteI do hope you found out what the problem was usually these days just unplugging it completely from the wall socket for a few minutes resolves it.,,,your weloome :-)
I liked all the jokes as always :-)
Have a netflixlesstastic safe week Pauleo 😷😷😷
PS: I added you to my Linky 👍
My friend the TV is OK thanks to my daughter AmyLynn. She's a whiz in electronics and she is high Autism but she can do anything especially when it came to the TV. I'm stupid when it comes it so I just give everything to her.
Delete