Good morning everyone. You know the way things are going, life is so screwed up. It's hard to believe that people will do the work they are suppose to do. At the last minute they call and say oops, we can't be here. Maybe Friday. What are you suppose to say? You can get angry but why? I've never seen so many crazy working people that lie, and do stupid things. What is wrong with people today? Aren't people true to their work? They lie and cheat today and we the people who have to pay are stuck with this idiots. I give up.
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A woman gets pulled over by a policeman for suspected drunk driving.
“Madam, you’re suspected for drunk driving. Please blow this for me for a breath alcohol test.”
“What the hell? That’s your penis, not the breathalyser!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were drunk.”
“What the hell? That’s your penis, not the breathalyser!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were drunk.”
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”
“Well, tell me!” the man said.
The policeman said: “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said: “Give me the bad news first.”
So the policeman said: “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”
“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked: “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crab on her.”
“If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?” Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said: “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”
“Well, tell me!” the man said.
The policeman said: “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said: “Give me the bad news first.”
So the policeman said: “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”
“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked: “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crab on her.”
“If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?” Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said: “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”
Something to offend everyone...
In Heaven:
The French are the cooks, and the Germans are the engineers. The British are the policemen. The Italians are the lovers, and the Swiss run everything.
But in Hell:
The Germans are the policemen. The British are the cooks. The Swiss are the lovers, the French are the engineers. And the Italians run everything.
The French are the cooks, and the Germans are the engineers. The British are the policemen. The Italians are the lovers, and the Swiss run everything.
But in Hell:
The Germans are the policemen. The British are the cooks. The Swiss are the lovers, the French are the engineers. And the Italians run everything.
Just to let you know, I'm Italian. ha,ha,ha.
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Cruisin Paul
How awful when workers do not keep their word. Yes, i understand some extenuating circumstances, but mostly it's not anything serious, just that they work doesn't get done and it is a sad thing.
ReplyDeleteHope you get your worker there on Friday and it all is taken care of well and properly.
Thanks for the laughs!
As I told my wife, I leave everything in the hands of God. Thanks Mimi.
DeleteIt can be very frustrating to have workers not turning up when they have promised to do so. Have a beautiful day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy. Hopefully everything will work out.
DeleteSorry that you had to deal with some idiots who don't keep their words. But you are right. why get angry and punish yourself for someone's else's mistake?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh :-)
Thank you Angie. I got upset and I ended up in the hospital so now the hell with it. That's what we have in our world so I guess we'll just have to deal with it. Have a wonderful day my new friend.
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