Sunday, August 28, 2016

Wet Sunday Later

We have a busy Sunday. I'm first taking my wife out for breakfast, fill my bumble bee up wife gas, get some luncheon meat and then back home arranging all the materials for the cottage. 



"Restaurant" joke

The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"

 Mama Mia
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's
senior chef had passed away unexpectedly.
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client on the phone.
"I am very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night," the receptionist
"Is Mr. Smith there?" repeated the client.
The receptionist was perplexed, "Perhaps you did not understand me. I am
afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night."
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client again.
"Madam, do you understand what I am saying?" said the exasperated
receptionist, "Mr. Smith is dead."
"I understand you perfectly," the client sighed, "I just cannot hear it
often enough."

Three cooks, one from Greece, one from Italy and one from Britain were sitting on a park bench passing the time.
Suddenly, the cook from Greece reaches under the bench and drags out a new bottle of Ouzo, takes a big swig, tosses the bottle into the air and shoots the bottle on the way down.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from Italy.
"We have lots of Ouzo in Greece" he replied.
The cook from Britain takes out a bottle of beer, takes a huge swig, throws the bottle into the air and shoots the bottle on the way down.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from Italy.
"We have lots of beer in Britain" was the reply.
The cook from Italy takes out a bottle of Barolo wine, takes a enormous swig and shoots the cook from England.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from Greece.
"We have lots of British in Italy!” 

An Italian Man Chooses a Spouse

       An Italian man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely Italian women. He gives each Italian woman a present of $500 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The Italian man was very impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the Italian man gifts. She gets him a new Italian suit, some new shoes for his Italian suit, and an expensive Italian tie. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the Italian man is impressed.

The third Italian woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $500. She gives him back his $500 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the Italian man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

An Italian Dinner So Good It Could Kill You

Joe prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about the spoilage but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local poison control center and voiced his concern. They advised Joey to boil the sauce again.
That night the phone rang during dinner and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Joey’s face dropped as the guest called out, “It’s the poison control center. They want to know how the spaghetti turned out.”

Another Pasta Diet

It’s an Italian diet that really works!!!
  1. You walka pasta da bakery.
  2. You walka pasta da candy store.
  3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop.
  4. You walka pasta da table
  5. You walka pasta da fridge
You will losa da weight.
Now that’s a funnya joka.


That's it for now. Last week the RCMP Mounties were in our area for a Ride. Here are some pictures.


At the end of the ride, the officers had a chance to speak to the people and also the people had a chance to have pictures taken with the officers and their horse. It was a great day for everyone.


See you all next week my friends. 



  1. Love the joke about the Italian marrying the woman with the biggest breasts.

    I was surprised (but shouldn't have been) that you have female mounties. Thanks for posting the pictures.

    Have a great day, Paul.

  2. I loved all your jokes today so I linked this post to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day Paul. ☺

  3. Happy Sunday to you from Wyoming!

    Big hugs, honey...

  4. LMAO @ the funnies and the chef's surprise that isn't you is it Pauleo? LOL

    Hope you have a brilliant day even though it's busy busy busy :-)

  5. Great jokes and pictures, and i especially loved how you snuck in the line at the beginning of the post "fill my bumble bee up wife gas". Yes, i was paying attention and laughed!

  6. I'm glad you two had a great time at the cabin on the golf course. See you can do this every summer and a cruise in the winter. I think that rocks.

    We got your birthday cards last Monday. Thank you so very much.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

  7. Just thought I would pop over to say Hi Pauleo and thanks for your visits I always look forward to you witty comments :-)


Thanks for commenting!