Saturday, June 10, 2017

Hot, Very Hot Saturday

Good, good morning everyone. I'm very sore this morning after playing golf yesterday. I had a great day golfing though it rained for awhile. I got wet but oh well. Now I wonder if I'm going to get sick from the rain? I see two things were occurring in the US and England. I just wish that the people who run the governmesnt just be honest. I know that countries need governments to control what goes on but heck, why do they do what they do?

                  -----------------------------











A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynecologist."




An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man is in a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: "I must be dreaming of heaven! I smell your grandmother's strudel!"

"No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now."

"I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a piece?", the old man begs with what is left of his final breath.

One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man's last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed.

"Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother's delicious strudel?" the old man plaintively queries.

"I'm very sorry, grandfather, but she says it's for the funeral."






A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!




Buried in a Blue Suit


An old lady is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying.
One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this sombre moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The undertaker apologises and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.
She says to the undertaker "Wonderful,wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?

"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.
The wife smiled at the undertaker through her tears...
He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"

                 ----------------------------------

That's about it for day. I hope that you'll enjoy what I have today for you.

                  


                             " SEE YA "

                     ----------------------------



                         " Cruisin Paul "

 
                       "

11 comments:

  1. How do people come up with such funny, dark humor cartoons? Gotta love the human mind.

    Could you please clone Justin Trudeau and send us a copy down here in the USA? I don't follow Canadian politics but he sure makes your country look good on the world stage. I do follow his Facebook page.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well Trudeau does look good but we are having some problems in Canada but nothing like what you have in the US. I hope that something changes before Trumps isolates the states from all of us. See ya my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope that you are enjoying the time on your yacht, See ya

      Delete
  4. Glad you enjoyed the game of golf, yep all liars ours were caught out so I'm happy LOL.

    LOL @ the jokes loved the mortuary ones lmao :-)

    Have a golftastic day Pauleo :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Steveo. Yes I did enjoy golfing but the day after I was really sore. See ya my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. We are also have very hot days over here. I just feel like staying at home and not go anywhere. Poor grandpa couldn't get to eat his strudel. Have a happy day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Nancy to join into my blog. Yes, it's so hot that all I want is to stay inside.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have some great comics. That horse was very lucky that the chicken could drive. Did I miss something? :)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!