--------------------------------------
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
-----------------------------
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The bastard used coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still having sex with me!"
--------------------------------
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
" See ya "
-----------------------------------
Cruisin Paul
Maybe we could send you some rain! Most of us wish that's how it worked that we could just send it where it's needed.
ReplyDeleteIf you throw things away without letting her look at them, you will regret it. If you do it even once, then for the rest of your life every time she can't find something she wants, she will say that you threw it away and not believe you when you say you didn't. Ask how i know (Grandpa tries it with Grandma all the time, he still hasn't learned).
Thanks for the funnies, and i really do hope you get some cooling rain soon.
Mimi I wouldn't do such a thing. I was just joking. One thing Mary Lou & I have done in our marriage was to be honest. Don't worry about it.
DeleteIt's been quite muggy here but the only difference here is that any temperature here over 75 degrees and it's classed as a heatwave, the weather forecasters here are sooo dramatic for the slightest thing it's hilarious LOL
ReplyDeleteI find everytime i chuck summit away a week later I need it haha so good luck with that :-)
Funny jokes Pauleo I wouldn't like to borrow that doctor's pen hahaha!
Have a sweatytastic Sunday Pauleo Cornetto :-)
I'm going to have to check the next time I go to see my doctor. See ya my friend.
DeleteI love the sheriff and the lawyer joke. It made my day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rhonda. You always make my day my friend.
DeleteI throw stuff away when the hubs is not around! He wants to keep everything he sees but doesn't even miss them when they are thrown out!
ReplyDeleteHappy Tuesday, Paul!
Ha,ha,ha. Very interesting Veronica. See ya.
DeleteI am the one who wants to throw things and hubby is the one who wants to keep things. His excuse is that they will come in useful when needed! Now my storeroom is filled with all the things that will be needed.
ReplyDeleteWell it's nice to see that some people agree with me. Ha,ha,ha.
Delete