Wednesday, Wednesday

Good afternoon everyone. Well as you all know, I was to have an ultra sound on my right leg ( checking my viens & arteries ) but it didn't take place. They asked me to be there 10 minutes ahead of my 1:00 pm appointment. I left home at 12:50 just in case of the cars on the road. I got there at 12:30pm and they informed me that due to a family death I would have to come back another time. They said they called my home ( 12:55am ) by I had already left. I was upset because calling me that late doesn't make any sense.  Do you think that I was wrong? I feel very bad for the person who lost their relative but an hour before my appointment especially they said for me to be there 10 mins earlier. 

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My post will be short today. It will be totally about my granddaughter and her horse.
An unbelievable way to end the 2019 show season for this girl at the Strides for Stability Show...three firsts, one second, overall Grand Champion in the 2’6” Hunters Division and also winning the Hunter Derby. WOW! As you can see, this grandfather is very proud of his granddaughter.

Here are some of photos that were taken. 

This is Emily's support team. I should be there also but unfortunately I wasn't able to be there. 

Well that's it for today. 



CRUISIN PAUL

 

Last Week Of August, Monday

Well the children are getting ready to go back to school but not me. It's amazing that I have been out of school for 15 years and I haven't missed a thing, well I still miss the kids. 
This Thursday I'm golfing with Brian. since he sold his house, he has arrived early in the morning to park hi van and pick up golf cart. I have been parking the cart in my garage until the end of the golf season. 
Tomorrow I have to go and have an ultra sound on my right leg. He didn't like the look of my leg. Oh well, more problems.
Yesterday my granddaughter went and won three ribbons with her horse and won the overall.

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A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!" 

( If you've ever stepped on an a lego piece, I have, I know it very painful. More then one, you're find 
out. )

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A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" 

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                        " SEE YA MY FRIENDS "


Cruisin Paul

 

Wednesday Evening

Good evening everyone. I'm writing tonight because early tomorrow morning , 8:00 am, I'll be going golfing. Finally. I'll let you know how I made out. Pray for me.

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Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes." 

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."  

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone." 

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"  

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One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'" 

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                " SEE YA MY FRIENDS "


Cruisin Paul

Wonderful Friday

Good morning friends. I've been away for two days visiting Mary Lou's relatives in Sarnia. We had a great time but it took extra time getting there. Usually we get off the 401 highway at Bloomfield road but I was unable to do so because they were working on the highway so I had to continue a great deal longer to eventually get off  the 401. Here I had to drive and drive to get to Chatham and where I turned usually would take me 5 minutes. This time it took 30 minutes. On our way out of Chatham I had another detour because the road was blocked and I had to turn around and change to another direction to Wallaceburg. There we usually have to cross over the bridge but this time the bridge was up for repairs so another detour to find another bridge that would get me around. Eventually I was able to find another one and we finally got to Sarnia even though there were many small detours I had get around to finally arrive to our hotel. Usually it takes 2 hour but this time it took 3 and 1/2 hours with all of these detours. I was exhausted. I just wanted to rest which I did at Mary Lou's sister's home.

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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly".

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes", the boy's mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Who cares?" the mother replied.

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you."

 

 

 

 

Mother to daughter: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?"

"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children."

 

 

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One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems ok, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

 

 

 

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                          " SEE YA SOON " 

 

 

Cruisin Paul

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Friday

Beautiful Friday morning everyone. I was going to have a BBQ with my cousins Dan & Tony & their wives but we had to cancel until another time. Dan's wife's mother is in the hospital so we decided to cancel for now. 
This week Mary Lou & I are going to Sarnia to visit some of her relatives and just getting out of Amherstburg for awhile.  I need something different.
I called Nancy my travel agent and I asked her when do I pay my cruise and the total. he informed our flights will be added this time. Boy did she get us a fantastic cost for our flight. She got them from Celebrity, our cruise ship company. I just can't wait until my cruise. Cruisin, Cruisin, Cruisin.

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President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news & bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?” “The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters U.F.O. printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object? The alien answered, No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!

Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, Who’s there?

Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, “Uh-oh cover your ears he’s going to be really mad now”!

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."

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                     " See Ya My Friends "


Cruisin Paul

 

August Saturday

The sun's out, a nice little breeze going through the trees and I sitting in my soft chair and writing my post. I should be watching golf at the moment but just for my good friend I will do my post. I haven't seen my grandchildren at all this week. It's so quiet.

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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation." 

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"  

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" 

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”  

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Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack." 

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                        " See Ya By Wonderful Friends "


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Cruisin Paul