Friday, August 9, 2019

Beautiful Friday

Beautiful Friday morning everyone. I was going to have a BBQ with my cousins Dan & Tony & their wives but we had to cancel until another time. Dan's wife's mother is in the hospital so we decided to cancel for now. 
This week Mary Lou & I are going to Sarnia to visit some of her relatives and just getting out of Amherstburg for awhile.  I need something different.
I called Nancy my travel agent and I asked her when do I pay my cruise and the total. he informed our flights will be added this time. Boy did she get us a fantastic cost for our flight. She got them from Celebrity, our cruise ship company. I just can't wait until my cruise. Cruisin, Cruisin, Cruisin.

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President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news & bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?” “The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.


A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters U.F.O. printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object? The alien answered, No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!



Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, Who’s there?


Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, “Uh-oh cover your ears he’s going to be really mad now”!


"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."

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                     " See Ya My Friends "


Cruisin Paul
 



10 comments:

  1. When we want to get away we go to our boat. Not this weekend though. We enjoy being home or on the boat.

    Love the funnies.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend, Paul. ♪♫♪♫

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  2. How many cruises do you take a year Paul?
    Enjoy Sarnia and your weekend!!

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    1. We only go on a cruise once a year even though I would like to go on two of them. Mary Lou said only one. I wish I kived in Florida and I might even do three cruises.

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  3. Heeheehee! Eat reporters and pee oil, i like that.

    Hope you have a great time getting out of town for a bit.

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  4. I get the feeling that you cannot wait to go on your next cruise Pauleo LOL

    Don't we all like our own space but not to those extents heheh!

    Have a great weekend Pauleo :-)

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  5. So exciting for you, another cruise to look forward to! I sure do not want to meet an alien. No thanks!

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    Replies
    1. I hope that alien wouldn't eat you after meeting you. LOL

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Thanks for commenting!