Good evening my friends. It's been a full week since I wrote my last blog. Sorry about that. I've been working so hard getting ready for our big change. I had no idea how much things, little and big. If I had known this I would have started getting read of this stuff 30 years ago. This week we have to go to the bank asking for a bridge and the next day we go to a lawyer. Placing materials on boxes have begin. Can you come and help me? LOL
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Mother to daughter advice:
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children."
Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The
next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on
the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to
his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while
moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"
The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of
breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter asked, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The
mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through
three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
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Cruisin Paul
Moving is no joke, i wish i could help somehow.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for the funnies!
You help Mimi just by being a good friend.
DeleteYour doing well considering the situation Pauleo but 30 years LOL :-)
ReplyDeleteI liked all the jokes but I wasn't aware you was the worlds greatest farter father Pauleo congrats LOL 😷
Have an airfreshenertastic day and hope all goes well with the bank and lawyer just don't bumburp Pauleo :-)
Steveo, I've always bee the greatest farter, oops father. LOL
DeleteAt least you admit it sprays blog
DeleteHave a freshtastic safe weekend Pauleo 😷😷😷
We've been de-cluttering for some time now and wow after all these years here we had so much stuff we don't use anymore. I can so relate. You'll get though it.
ReplyDeleteLove all the funnies.
Have a fabulous day and week, Paul. 😎
It's amazing Sandee how much material you build up as years go by. I will learn from this.
DeleteTo me, moving is stressful and hard work. I moved house once and I hope I won't have to do it again. But in a way, it makes us discard so many things that we have collected for so many years and it is nice to start with only what is necessary for a comfortable stay in a new house.
ReplyDeleteNancy, what you have said is totally correct. I now have moved twice. This time was the worst because after 31 years there have been so many things that have accumulated that has shocked me. We've already told our friends and relatives we don't want anything for Christmas this year, just friends & relatives.
DeleteI can imagine how much stuff you might need to get rid of. I look at my house and don't even want to think about it.
ReplyDelete