Clear Tuesday

Gooooood morning everyone. It's very cold here in Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada. Today my wife and I leave the house allowing my daughter to spend time and a planning on our dinner. I have to go and have my goatee clean up a little before I leave for my cruise. 

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                                      Oh my, I didn't know I was drinking out of those.

• Slap Happy Marine

  A young Marine and his commanding officer climbed on board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. The only place they could find to sit was right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
  
  After a while, it became obvious that the young woman and the young soldier were interested in each other, but the young woman kept glancing nervously at her grandmother.
  
  Soon the train passed into a pitch black tunnel. There was the sound of a passionate kiss followed by the sound of a stinging slap. When the train emerged from the tunnel, the four sat there without saying a word.
  
  The grandmother thought to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, and I'm glad she slapped him." 

  
  
  The commanding officer sat there thinking: "I figured he'd try to steal a kiss, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
  
  The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the soldier kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
  
  The young Marine sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life is good. When does a fellow have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his commanding officer all at the same time!"

 

Grandma's Nuts

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him.
While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finished them off.
As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says" Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off them.

Paying Bills

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

                                                       " A lion, get me out of here! "

Grandparents Piano Escape

Little Ben came into the house with a new harmonica. 'Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?'
'Of course not, Ben. I love music. In fact, when your Grandma and I were young, music saved my life.'
'What happened?'
'Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke, and when the water hit our house, it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.'
'How about you?'
'Me? I accompanied her on the piano!'

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That's it for today my friends. Have an enjoyable day and I'll see you again soon. 

 

                                                                           " SEE YA "