Good morning friends. Thank goodness, my cruise is two weeks because it's very cold and it seems it will be cold for some time. That's OK, soon I'll be on the ocean with warm winds and hot temperature and great food. I can't wait.
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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having
coffee when one of the Catholic men tells his friends, "My son is a
priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh - My - God."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh - My - God."
Some Marriage Math(s):
- Smart man + smart woman = romance
- Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
- Dumb man + smart woman = affair
- Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
- Smart boss + smart employee = profit
- Smart boss + dumb employee = production
- Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
- Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Best Old Age Joke
Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the cute boy in science class, lived on that street.10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 25-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because it had free snacks, there was no cover charge, the beer was cheap, the band was good and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 35-year-olds,
discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the
Sea Side Restaurant because the combos were good, it was near the gym
and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be many whiny little kids.10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 45-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters wore tight pants and had nice buns.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 55-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the prices were reasonable, it had windows which opened (in case of hot flashes), the wine list was good and fish was good for their cholesterol.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 65-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they had an Early Bird Special and the lighting was good.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 75-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the food wasn't too spicy and it was handicapped accessible.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 85-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they'd never been there before.
Old Age Quiz
Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: No, seriously. How can I get rid of these crow's feet and all the wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It usually pulls them out.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they browse an antique store?
A: I remember these.
Q: Where can a man over 60 find a younger, good looking woman who is interested in him?
A: Try the bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a husband do when his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If he's handy with tools, he can finish the basement. Then when he's finished, he'll have a place to live.
Q: Why should 60+ people use valet parking?
A: The valet won't forget where he parked your car.
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Well my grandchildren just arrived and I enjoy spending time with them so I'm don't for today my good friends. Have a wonderful Saturday and enjoy whatever you what to do for the day.
" SEE YA "
Love the story of the four Catholics trying to out do one another. and the one at the end with the two ladies on the park bench. LOL
ReplyDeleteTwo weeks to cruise time! You guys are going to escape the the worst part of this winter. Nothing much coming between now and then in the weather.
It's freezing here at the moment too brrrr...you got your cruise to look forward too and sounds like your getting excited about it now...so would i be :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL @ the jokes and Try some deep knee bends
Thank you for the lovely comment over at mine today Paul
have a shiverfreetastic weekend :-)
Two weeks and you'll be cruising in warm waters. Good for you both. I know you'll have a great time.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes.
Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺
The pole dancing one had me laughing the hardest, Paul! Stay warm...and safe! :)
ReplyDeleteIt is a little longer till our cruise. I haven't counted the days yet and should!
ReplyDeleteGreat jokes.
Big hugs, honey...
Love the marriage and work math! It's wonderful that your cruise is so soon, you can tolerate anything for two weeks, even the cold.
ReplyDelete