Snowy Tuesday

 

Good morning everyone. It's been snowing over the night and my wife just went outside to shovel the snow off the driveway. She has to take my daughter to her volunteer job at the church. Our new fireplace has finally been fixed. Somehow there was to much something in the fire that was filling the entire area with black soot and it was showing nothing with black. I've had nothing but problems with this fireplace but the men who came to assist us were wonderful. Hopefully, we're done with problems.

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One day an 80 year old man went to the drug store and asked for some Viagra. "No problem," said the pharmacist, "how many do you want?
"Just a few," replied the man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces?"
"That won't do you much good," said the pharmacist.
The old man looked at him sadly and said, "I am 80 years old, I am not interested in sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my feet!"

- See more at: http://www.agelessfx.com/funny_getting_older_jokes.html#sthash.EtI2nxYO.dpuf

Five Further Funny Thoughts of a Grumpy Old Man

1. 'Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.'
2. Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
3. Of all my husband's relatives, I like me best.
4. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
5. If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 

Cantankerous Man in the Supermarket

Walter and his wife Masie are shopping in their local supermarket.  The husband picks up a case of Budweiser beer and puts it in their shopping cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks Masie.
'They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans Walter replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along Masie picks up a $40 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks Walter.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Bud and it's half the price.'
Walter never knew what hit him.
The next thing he heard on the supermarket PA system was: 'Clean-up on aisle 7, we have a husband down.' 

Funny Jokes About Men – for women!

Men are like…..Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Of course women don’t work as hard as men…
They get it right the first time.

What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?
A widow.

How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.

Why do men need sports action replays 30 seconds after the event?
Because they’ve forgotten what happened.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Card Buddies

Two elderly ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."
Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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Well, that's it for today. Enjoy your day my good friends. 

                                                                           " SEE YA "