Rainy Saturday

Good morning friends. Well three weeks  before we go to get on the Carnival Breeze. I really looking forward to this. I need to get out of Amherstburg. It's Saturday, January the 9th 2016  and it's 45 degrees. Unbelievable! Usually it's in single digits with 2 or 3 feet of snow. Weird this year.

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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me.'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'

Like a baby...
Sam and Louis lived in a retirement home. One day they were sitting in the lounge, and Sam turned to Louis and said, “Louis, I’m ninety years old, and I’m full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?”

      Louis replied, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”

      “Really? Like a baby?” Sam asked, puzzled.

      “Yes,” replied Louis, “I’ve got no hair, no teeth—and I think I just wet myself.”

- See more at: http://www.agelessfx.com/funny_getting_older_jokes.html#sthash.NfXEKnUE.dpuf

One day an 80 year old man went to the drug store and asked for some Viagra. "No problem," said the pharmacist, "how many do you want?
"Just a few," replied the man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces?"
"That won't do you much good," said the pharmacist.
The old man looked at him sadly and said, "I am 80 years old, I am not interested in sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my feet!"
- See more at: http://www.agelessfx.com/funny_getting_older_jokes.html#sthash.SyOT8UgX.dpuf

One day an 80 year old man went to the drug store and asked for some Viagra. "No problem," said the pharmacist, "how many do you want?
"Just a few," replied the man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces?"
"That won't do you much good," said the pharmacist.
The old man looked at him sadly and said, "I am 80 years old, I am not interested in sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my feet!"
- See more at: http://www.agelessfx.com/funny_getting_older_jokes.html#sthash.SyOT8UgX.dpuf

One day an 80 year old man went to the drug store and asked for some Viagra. "No problem," said the pharmacist, "how many do you want?
"Just a few," replied the man, "but could you cut each one into four pieces?"
"That won't do you much good," said the pharmacist.
The old man looked at him sadly and said, "I am 80 years old, I am not interested in sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my feet!"
- See more at: http://www.agelessfx.com/funny_getting_older_jokes.html#sthash.SyOT8UgX.dpuf

 I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
 Zoom, zoom, zoom!

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.''Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive after dark!"

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                                                                              " SEE YA "