Sunday, August 7, 2016

Friendly Sunday


Well, what do you know, I finally wrote a post. Sorry about that. I haven't been feeling feel lately. Maybe it's this 90 degree weather we've been having lately. But this morning I;m feeling really great so here I am. 

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Chemistry In The Soup Kitchen

While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man. It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed 
because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married. So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a 
living. He replied, “I’m a priest.”

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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." - See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes#sthash.XZzKJWre.dpuf

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." - See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/family-jokes#sthash.XZzKJWre.dpuf
Paul and his best friend were coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed his friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

Paul's friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."




A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl.

The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.




Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend.

"Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asked John.

Jack thought for a minute and said.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

After a moment of silence, John spoke.

"It tells two things to me. First is that...you are an idiot."

Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said.

"Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.





Golf ball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one."

Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back -- no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is fluorescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."






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Well my friends, that will be it for now. I hope that I'll be able to send another post back to you soon. Enjoy your Sunday everyone.


 
                                                                         " SEE YA "


 



10 comments:

  1. Loved all the jokes as always. I've linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Hubby and I are sitting on the back of our boat having our morning coffee. The birds are singing and an occasional boat is floating down the river. It's a beautiful Sunday morning.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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    1. That's a dream that I always wanted to do, sitting on a boat early in the morning drinking in the morning. I do it on my cruise but I mean my own boat. Lucky you Sandee & Zane.

      Cruisin Paul

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  2. Good to read your feeling better and good today I can't stand continuous hot and humid weather that we have had of late but not as hot as where you are.

    I always celebrate an all nighter too but it is quite rare these days LOL

    The jokes made me laugh and that elephants arse LOL

    I see you posing there Pauleo LOL

    Have a posetastic Sunday :-)

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    1. Yes my friend, I love posing just for you and anyone else. Ha,ha,ha. See ya Steveo.

      Cruisin Paul

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  3. The heat is getting to everyone, I think! Hang in there it can't last much longer. Good to see you blogging today.

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    1. The heat is getting me down Jean but I'll still be golfing on Friday. Pray for me. ha,ha,ha.

      Cruisin Paul

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  4. It's great to be your friend, just hold the coconuts, please! Heeheehee!

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  5. Thanks for beautiful comment Mimi. I'm so glad for the many bloggers that care for me. I feel the same way. Yes, I'll be aware of the coconuts. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

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  6. Hello Paul, thank you for the funny jokes. I love the little elephant doing the boogie shake. Lol!

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    1. Thanks for reading my blog Nancy. Boogie shaking back to you Nancy. See ya.

      Cruisin Paul

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Thanks for commenting!