Happy New Year
to you all.
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Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou
Monday, December 31, 2018
2019
Good morning my friends. Well, the year is at end. I pray that you all have a wonderful 2019.
Happy New Year
to you all.
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Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou
Happy New Year
to you all.
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Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Amazing. It's Snowing Saturday
Time has past after Christmas. I hope that you all enjoyed your Christmas day, gifts, dinner and family. AmyLynn got what she wanted, Santa brought her a new TV. I cooked two special dinners, Christmas and Emily's pasta & meatball dinner on her 13th birthday. Now we are leaving to see Mary Lou's brother Jim who had some serious time while in the hospital but now he's doing well and he wanted some family to get together for dinner. So we are going.
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confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's
present. What do you think it all means?' 'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package.
Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
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A Bad Dream?
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, sheconfided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's
present. What do you think it all means?' 'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package.
Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.
“I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
“I'm in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
“Phase one?” asks David.
“Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.”
“Families are complicated enough, but
things became even more confusing after my father decided to
get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or
my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my
child is my daughter or my niece.”
get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or
my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my
child is my daughter or my niece.”
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
Happy New Year 2019
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon
drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm
against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against
winter chill, the taxable
potion that puts needed funds into public
coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
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Cruisin Paul
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Merry Christmas
Well my friends, Christmas is here.
To my friends, Rhonda, Peg, Nancy, Tanza, Sandee, Mimi, Bee, John, Jean and Steveo,
I wish you all a wonderful Merry Christmas. You all have made my blogging so much more then just writing a bunch of words in my computer. You all have made me feel loved. Thank you for that.
Cruisin Paul
To my friends, Rhonda, Peg, Nancy, Tanza, Sandee, Mimi, Bee, John, Jean and Steveo,
I wish you all a wonderful Merry Christmas. You all have made my blogging so much more then just writing a bunch of words in my computer. You all have made me feel loved. Thank you for that.
Cruisin Paul
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
A Warm Tuesday Evening
Good evening friends. I've been so busy these last few days between getting gifts, wrapping them, baking a Christmas Tree cake, making meatballs and making dinner everyday. I was planning to look for a final Christmas gift for my wife but when she noticed that there were five gifts already under the Christmas tree and asked whose gifts they were, I said they for her. She informed me that was fantastic but don't buy anything more. I said OK but sometimes I lie. LOL.
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An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."
But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.
"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."
"Then why did you bring an axe?"
"Because I didn't want to pay."
Christmas shopping
A mother thinks there’s something strange going on and eventually decides to take a DNA test.
She finds out that their child is actually not related to her or her husband at all.
Wife: "Darling, there’s something really important that we need to talk about. I did a DNA test and Roger isn't our biological child."
Husband: "Of course he isn’t, don’t you remember? We were just leaving the hospital and the baby pooped hugely so you told me, ‘Go and change the baby, I’ll wait here.’”
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" SEE YA MY FRIENDS "
Cruisin Paul
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An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."
But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.
"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."
"Then why did you bring an axe?"
"Because I didn't want to pay."
Christmas shopping
A judge asks the culprit:
- Please explain me, what are you being prosecuted for?
- I was doing my Christmas shopping too early, - replied the defendant
- But that’s not a crime, - says the judge quite surprised. – How early were you doing your Christmas shopping?
- Before the store opened…
- Please explain me, what are you being prosecuted for?
- I was doing my Christmas shopping too early, - replied the defendant
- But that’s not a crime, - says the judge quite surprised. – How early were you doing your Christmas shopping?
- Before the store opened…
A mother thinks there’s something strange going on and eventually decides to take a DNA test.
She finds out that their child is actually not related to her or her husband at all.
Wife: "Darling, there’s something really important that we need to talk about. I did a DNA test and Roger isn't our biological child."
Husband: "Of course he isn’t, don’t you remember? We were just leaving the hospital and the baby pooped hugely so you told me, ‘Go and change the baby, I’ll wait here.’”
What A Girl Wants For Christmas
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'
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Cruisin Paul
Saturday, December 15, 2018
A Very, Dull, Saturday
Good afternoon everyone. I'm so very happy, more than that I'm excited after spending some time with my travel agent and good friend Nancy and her husband Edgar at Tim Horton's. Nancy was there to give me the necessary papers I needed for my cruise, 10 night Ultimate Caribbean Cruise. I also needed the papers for my night before at the FairField Inn in Michigan near the airport. We are flying out of Metro Airport at 07:10 am in the morning and arrive at Ft. Lauderdale Hollywood Intl. in Florida.
After that Nancy also informed with a cruise that she planning in 2020 and wanted to know if I would like be included. She said it's a 11 Night Ultimate Caribbean Cruise. I looked at my wife and she said to me, " Paul, it's up to you." and of course she knew that would say YES! So we set for 2020. Unbelievable! The cruises are on the same ship the Celebrity Refection. After 2020 that would be three times on the same ship. WOW! I'm a very lucky guy.
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Santa Stats
There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.
Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.
Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.
Christmas Fireman
In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
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" SEE YA "
CRUISIN PAUL
After that Nancy also informed with a cruise that she planning in 2020 and wanted to know if I would like be included. She said it's a 11 Night Ultimate Caribbean Cruise. I looked at my wife and she said to me, " Paul, it's up to you." and of course she knew that would say YES! So we set for 2020. Unbelievable! The cruises are on the same ship the Celebrity Refection. After 2020 that would be three times on the same ship. WOW! I'm a very lucky guy.
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Entering Heaven
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter
at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's."
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's."
A Sign of the Times
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual,
"And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't
you get my E-mail?"
Santa Stats
There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.
Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.
Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.
Christmas Fireman
In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
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CRUISIN PAUL
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Tuesday, December 11, 2018, Still A Dreay Day
Good afternoon everyone. I'm feeling so down today and there is nothing wrong except the sun has been away since my last blog. No sun really affects me. Now one thing that should make me feel sunny is that tomorrow I'm having coffee with my friend and travel agent Nancy and her husband. Every year we get together to have coffee and goodies and she gives me all the necessary papers that I need to go on my cruise. Yes my friends, it's that time of the year. We will also be discussing next years cruise. Excitement even without the sun.
A photo of us in Cozumel last year.
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Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A Wrapper!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.
A wonderful Christmas song told me to Deck The Halls....so I did. Mr. and Mrs Hall were not very
happy.
Don't you hate that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”
He promptly replied, “Another train.”
It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”
Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.
Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.
“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
If you see a fat man…
Who’s jolly and cute,
wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
while flying around
in a miniature sleigh
with eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
then lets face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!!!
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" SEE YA "
Cruisin Paul
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
Claustrophobic.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A Wrapper!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Crispies.
happy.
Don't you hate that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”
He promptly replied, “Another train.”
It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”
Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.
Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.
“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
If you see a fat man…
Who’s jolly and cute,
wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
while flying around
in a miniature sleigh
with eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
then lets face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!!!
Santa Claus is a woman!
Santa Claus is a woman because:- The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
- A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
- Men can’t pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don’t answer their mail.
- Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
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Cruisin Paul
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