-------------------------------------
A Bad Dream?
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, sheconfided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's
present. What do you think it all means?' 'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package.
Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.
“I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
“I'm in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
“Phase one?” asks David.
“Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.”
“Families are complicated enough, but
things became even more confusing after my father decided to
get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or
my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my
child is my daughter or my niece.”
get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or
my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my
child is my daughter or my niece.”
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
Happy New Year 2019
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
"If you mean the demon
drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm
against it.
But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against
winter chill, the taxable
potion that puts needed funds into public
coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise."
----------------------------------------
Cruisin Paul
We had a wonderful Christmas too. Looking forward to the new year and waiting patiently for spring. I'm not a fan of cold weather.
ReplyDeleteLove the funnies. I love the smoking one the best.
Have a fabulous day and a wonderful 2019, my friend. ♥
You know Sandee. I'm really looking forward to the new year. Oh I know why, my cruise. LOL See ya.
DeleteHeeheehee! It's great to start the year with a laugh with friends. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Mimi. Happy New Year.
DeleteI am sure your meatballs were delicious I haven't had meatballs in ages.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a nice time Pauleo and everybody cheered Jim up :-)
LOL @ the jokes, Well I won't be making an resolutions because it is pointless they are never kept LOL
Happy New Year Pauleo best wishes for 2019 from London UK :-)
my friend, I hope that you will have a great 2019 and that your health will be the best. Oh my the way, the meatballs were fantastic. See ya
Delete